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best way to come out?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jonathan19, Dec 12, 2012.

  1. Jonathan19

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    a few months ago i told my parents i was bi (but im actually gay) i thought that this would soften the blow and help them to come to terms with me being gay. however this did not go down so well... they told me they didnt know if the would be able to accept it if i was with a guy... i then moved out for a few days and when i went home again they pretented as if nothing had happened i am just going through a phase... but i know im gay and couldnt see myself with a girl at all... i now feel its time (after being away at uni for 3 months) to tell them that i am gay, and would like for them to know i have a bf, but dont know if i could tell them all this in one go... would love some advice as how to best go about this and what to say, as i just dont know anymore...
     
  2. jaysuss

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    You should get them in a car with you or over lunch. Not dinner or breakfast because those aren't the best times. They might be a bit angry you weren't completely truthful at first though.
     
  3. Jonathan19

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    i did talk in the car with my dad before, and it was horrible, wouldnt do that again! sorry... i dont think that they have the right to say anything about me being truthful after some of the horrible things they said to me before, it was more than okay for me not to say anymore. they told me i would loose my whole family, and would be lonely in life... my dad also told me that i was a disappointment, and i have enough problems with self confidence, so this was a killer to hear...
     
  4. SomeNights

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    I wouldn't advise it, but you could always invite your bf over and have a make out session on the kitchen counter..........excuse me while I go execute this plan myself lol jk


    But in all seriousness, I feel like you didn't exactly lie to them. I do this all the time! I switch up weather i'm bi or gay depending on who I'm talking to. I mean you could just start by telling them you have a bf.....then give his name....then invite him over to meet them and take it in slow gradual and easy steps with time in between.
     
  5. Jonathan19

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    me and my bf have a long distance relationship, so i feel that i want my parents to come to terms with me being gay, before i involve my bf... to have my boyfriend come for dinner would involve a lot of planning and if it went badly, it could make this very difficult with us, as me and my bf are just about coping it...
     
  6. FishMan27

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    Have you considered a letter?
     
  7. GuidingLight

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    Don't you hate the fact that families have to put you in a box, and then tell you negative things after you don't fit into that box? Family means they love you unconditionally supposedly, but i guess some people didn't get the memo.:lol:

    I had the same thing happen to me in high school when I tried to come out to my aunt and then grandparent. I was told :tantrum: "I was a monster" " i will ruin my life, and make it harder"
    " people will want to hurt me just because they hate homosexuals or bi people"

    That scared me way way back to the back of the closet. That's where I've been since, and that's been 9 years....>.< :bang: