I just feel like an idiot explaining to all my friends that I'm Pan...I even feel stupid changing my orientation on EC, like my friends and even EC people will judge me for "changing my mind"....I rushed out of the closet as gay while dating a guy at his urging and as soon as I broke up with him I remembered how much I like girls too....now I feel like everyone thinks I'm confused or can't make up my mind or something....If I had just stopped to think I would have been able to say...I dated a girl before...really liked sex with her....I dated a guy and really liked sex with him...and that equals some kinda BI...instead I rushed out as 100% gay cause I felt that way when I was with my ex...>.> Am I the only person who went from straight then came out as gay full force like steam rolling the closet and had to back up and settle in the middle? >.> I guess on the bright side I feel good and like I'm myself for the first time in ever....when I was in the closet I questioned as gay....then when I came out as gay I questioned myself because I knew I found girls attractive....this is the first time in my life the questions have stopped....I just feel so stupid for coming out as Gay.
I would of waited to come out till after i figured myself out and was sure of it. But congrats on having the courage to come out in the first place I hope your questioning end well what ever you may find yourself being
Ohh I'm done questioning now...literally for the first time since I accepted being Pan, I feel comfortable and am not worried about what I like or questioning...I know that I just like people....I just feel stupid for rushing out with the first orientation I jumped on without stopping to think...and Now I'm re-coming out to everyone as Pan >.> I really just want to know I'm not the only person ever to do something this stupid >.>
If they think you're "confused," it may just be that they are a little bit themselves since bisexuality is frequently misunderstood and pansexuality virtually never spoken of [based on what I've read from others on here, that is.] Assuming you haven't come out, or at least completely, as bi or pansexual I think the best course of action would be to not only tell them but try to have an honest discussion about your feelings and to explain anything they're confused about. That way they can try to understand those feelings and your orientation more clearly, rather than associating various misconceptions with them. If that makes sense. At any rate, you shouldn't ever feel "stupid" for understanding yourself better. Hope this can be of some help.
You're right...it makes me happy...like to the point of tears of joy..it's like someone finally turned the lights on when I realized I could be with either gender...I can't even tell which I like more because it depends entirely on the individual person which is why I got for the Pan explanation...I guess I just hear about so many people coming out as Bi first then gay later....I hope I'm not the only person to ever come out as gay first and then Bi/pan later
I don't know of a case personally, but I don't think it's uncommon for bi or pansexual individuals to automatically identify as gay when acknowleding same-sex attraction just, as you mentioned, it isn't for gay individuals to initially identify as bisexual. While some people are fortunate to 'get it' right off the bat, I imagine for the rest of us it's enough of a shock to realise we're not straight that it takes time to really understand the subtlety of our own feelings. It's great to hear how much happier you are now that you've been able to sort yourself out. And I'm sure that those who've already accepted you as 'gay' will do so when you come out to them as bi or pan.
I know they will...I guess I just needed someone to tell me I was being silly worrying about this...it's a complicated thing and it took me a few tries to get it right....I can actually think of a couple of girls who are super excited about it heh =P
You're definitely NOT alone. I sort of came out as bi to a few close friends when I was 15/16 and had my first girlfriend, nothing serious though. Then after we broke up, I dated guys only. Until I started questioning my sexuality again. I came out to a few friends, and on FaceBook as Lesbian, then changed it to Bi a few weeks later. Then back to lesbian... I recently dated another girl and after a week, I just couldn't do it anymore and ended the relationship. I was questioning yet again. So, I finally changed my interested in on FaceBook to "men" and posted a long status basically stating that it was just a phase I went through and that I'm nothing more than a tomboyish woman. I left out the part of willing to kiss another woman when the opportunity arises. But that is stuck in my heart, and shared with everyone here too. So yeah, I bet a lot of people think I'm super confused and can't make up my mind but I was going through a major identity crisis and making myself believe things just so I can fit into a box with a label around my neck. Don't feel stupid, I feel what I did was way more stupid than what you've done :lol:
