Hey, Been reading around here for a while now and decided that I need to air some thoughts, I'll try to keep it brief. Well, where to begin? I'm a 20 year old male and for almost all my life I've considered myself straight (albeit I've never been in a proper relationship and I'm still a virgin). I just simply never questioned it, until now anyway... I began to realise that I may not be 100% straight when I found myself sexually and emotionally attracted to a fellow male student at my university, It's strange, for the first time I could imagine myself making out with another guy and actually enjoying it (although it would never happen with him because I'm pretty sure he's straight). But at the same time I can imagine myself with women and enjoying it as well, but since I started fantasising over this guy I've found it harder and harder to get turned on by women. Although I can still see myself in a relationship with a woman. It's all quite confusing >.< I've never had any problems with LGBT people and always supported their rights (and always will do), but I'm just finding the idea that I may be gay (or bisexual) quite hard to accept. It goes against what I've considered myself to be for all these years. I've had these feelings since about the beginning of November but I want to take this slowly while I work out what I am. I may decide that I'm gay, or bi, or maybe even just straight! Either way I just want some sort of conclusion so I can just get on with my life and be happy. Thinking about it now, I've always known I was a bit different from my other male (straight) friends. While they would be checking out women I was never that interested. I don't know if that means anything but it has made me wander. I've also always felt that there was something missing from my life, like there was something that I didn't quite know about myself but I just couldn't grasp what it was. Maybe I've found it? Sorry if that was a bit long, but I wanted to write down everything I've been feeling recently. Thanks for reading
If you have started to question yourself you may not be as straight as you thought you were. You are probably bisexual around a 2 on the Kinsey scale if it has been this long.
Welcome to EC! I was the same way and the fact is all you and I were ever taught by example was that we'd be straight. Ya know, meet a nice girl, date, fall in love, get married, house, kids, etc. I too realized I was gay in my early 20s so you're not the only one. I never got what the big deal was with women and boobs and all that. Sure I could see beauty in women, but it wasn't attraction for me. I found attraction in some guys and wanted to be friends with them, but I didn't realize how much more than "being friends" I wanted with them. Maybe you've felt similarly. Anyway, I'm glad you found EC and I hope it can be a place to express your thoughts, see that others have similar experiences, and you'll likely help others too. Take care
