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Confusing story with a boy

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by eac74, Dec 14, 2012.

  1. eac74

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    Hey! This is my first post here, but I'm hoping somebody might be able to give me some insight into a situation.
    So I'm in my third year of college now, and was introduced to my friend (Let's call him Todd) over the summer. Todd lived with a friend of my friend John (who is one of my better friends but is straight) in an apartment off campus. For the past six months I've known him, I only ever acted as if Todd was straight because he never really talked about it at all.
    Anyway, about a week ago Todd came out to everybody including his family. He told us all that he was a 4 on the kinsey scale, so he likes both girls and guys, but is more attracted to men. We were also told that he came out because he met a guy online who he was planning to introduce to his parents.
    OKAY, so at this point nothing really seems to be leaning in my favor, but it got more confusing. After he came out, I kind of started to realize that I liked him...it's kind of like I liked him all along, but was too respectful to do/say anything because he identified as straight. We got talking on facebook to clear things up, and apparently he knew who I was when I met him. Last April, we both had accounts on ******* at the same time, only he saw mine when I never saw his...so he thought that I knew he was gay the entire time when I didn't. He told me that he wished he had come out sooner to me, and that there were many times he wanted to but was too afraid, but also told me that he met this guy online about 3 weeks before we met in person. To make it more confusing(because I'm an idiot), I asked him if he liked me at all. He replied by telling me that "he isn't gonna say no to that," and also told me about how he and this guy weren't dating because of distance issues...he told me that I am good-looking, one of the nicest guys he's met, and a couple of other things, "soo...who wouldn't like you!"
    I guess I'm just looking for some answers. Do you guys think I should bring this up with him? Or is he just being nice about it.
    Thanks,
    -EA
     
  2. Argentwing

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    I would interpret what he said as "Ask me out, dammit!" XD He seems not to like the other guy enough to really pursue him, but feels like asking you would be too forward, or assumed to be only because you said you're gay too. I'd just go for it and see how it works out.

    It sounds like a great situation, actually. Best of luck to you. :slight_smile:
     
  3. eac74

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    Interesting. See, I just can't get over the fact that he told me this right before he moved out of the apartment, though. I'm not sure if he moved out because of money or what (he got a new job near his parents house, so he's living about 3 hours away now). Even leading up to his departure was odd, though. He told us it was his last night three different times, and then decided to stay an extra night two times.
    Mmayyybbee you're right. I think I want to speak with him at some point this weekend. We're on good terms right now, it's just really confusing.
     
  4. SomeNights

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    Agreed! Sounds like he is definitely holding out. If I were in your situation, I'd try to make a subtle advance. Ask him if he wants to hang out, go to the moves, get some food, etc.
     
  5. eac74

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    I would definitely do this! I've been out for 4 years now and have never really liked anybody enough to get too intimate, but I like him a lot. If he was still living around here, I would have no trouble telling him this. What would you recommend doing if I can't just meet up with him right now?