I've been observing this forum for a couple months, since my sexuality confusion started pretty much. Basically over the past of months i've began really question my sexuality and i'm not sure why, not sure if im in denial and dont know about it or bisexual, bi-curious or just straight with anxiety issues maybe asexual (but doubt that considering my crushes and chronic porn addiction). I've only ever felt I was attracted to girls, only ever had crushes them and have always fantasised about them emotionally and sexually. I'm currently in a relationship with the most incredible girl i've ever met, the sex is great and I finally have intimacy I've always fantasied about.I've tried talking to her about this once or twice at times where my anxiety levels were too much and i needed to unload what was going thought my head. I've always thought of myself mainly straight but recently i'm thinking i might be bi, i know im confused and i've told her this which i feel isn't fair for her but i love her and cant imagine being without her. Thinking about my childhood and potential times where maybe I was sexually attracted to guys but i just cant, which makes me wonder why I'm confused. I've always felt a little different to people not sure how to explain it, even when i've felt part of group a small part of mind has always thought i was. I can remember first time being questioned about my sexuality when i was around 16-17 when two of closest friends (both i dont really see anymore, due to growing up and stuff) both asked me if was gay. I was completely shocked that they thought that and therefore wanted to confront me about it. This struck a nerve for some reason, both of them use to purse girls like the typically horny teenager, I on the other hand was just plain lazy, not only with girls but with everyone. Being social for me is a chore, I much prefer being by myself. There have been other times where people have and i think some still do. When i'm around people both guys and girls I just feel awkward and uncomfortable which triggers anxiety for not being comfortable. My anxieties always revolve around my sexuality and what others think. They're questioning has led me to question it myself, that reason enough just sounds stupid but its true. I've tried the "proof is in the porn" technique by watching MM porn and gauging my reaction, i've come to the conclusion that i can find it arousing but as soon as theres a close up on the guys face or body it just doesn't feel right, When i'm watching straight porn my focus is always on the girl and everything about her. Yet despite this is still seem somewhat confused. anyone else have this sort of dilema.
I'm no psychologist, but it sounds more like general anxiety than questioning your orientation. It is possible to be straight and enjoy MM to a point (it is people doing it, after all), but as you said, it just feels off, and you'd prefer the girl. Maybe you're just socially awkward and insecure about your outward appearance, rather than your actual orientation? I can imagine it's as bad to be perceived as gay to actually be gay in a homophobic environment. There is a possibility that you are metro, which I've heard is where guys who are straight for all intents and purposes look/act gay, like if they take up ballet or something. Doesn't mean anything by itself, just that you have preferences that are different from the norm.
I don't think you have much to worry about. You sound pretty straight to me. Nothing you have said would lead me to believe that you're bisexual or gay.
i dnt think ure gay ......... Frm the post i feel ure juz anxious about it.....and even if u r i can tell u there is nothing wrong about being gay .......dnt feel negetive about it....
If you are sexually attracted to girls, then you're most likely straight (or possibly bi-sexual). Let me remind that I have never felt ANY attraction toward another girl; I am solely sexually (and emotionally) attracted to guys, so based on what you're telling me I'm doubting you're gay.
thank you for your responses, it's been helpful speaking to people who seem to properly understand there orientation. My girlfriend thinks i should see somebody regarding my anxiety but i'm unsure as to even how they'll help me. And as for the metro element, i did used to care alot about how i dressed thus perceived but after meeting the misses i dont seem to care that much anymore ahah.
