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What to do

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TallButShort, Dec 14, 2012.

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  1. TallButShort

    TallButShort Guest

    Hey everyone I'm back again

    It's been a while since I've been on EC. I were on holiday with my family and privacy was a luxury I didn't have.

    I've been wanting to rant this out for a while now so here goes. (Bear with me if it's long and if my English sucks, I'm from South Africa and talk Afrikaans)

    Before I begin I have to tell you guys something. About three years ago my mom came out to us that she is a lesbian. It didn't really bother me because I already knew I was different as well from other boys. That was when I knew how I was different. Anyhow, my mom told my dad too and he didn't take it well at all. There were a lot of fighting and it eventually lead to them getting a divorce this year. Note: we all still stay in the same house. I have been to hell and back these three years, seeing all the sadness it caused, being "different".

    Now I also want to come out to them. But I find it the hardest thing to do. I have this fear that my mom will not take it well and every time I want to tell her I end up not doing it. A few days ago me, my brother and my mom went to visit my uncle for a while. They know my mom is a lesbian and as the conversation later steered in that direction I found out there we're cool with it :eusa_clap I almost blurted it out right there and then, that I am also gay but somehow didn't. Maybe my mom wont accept it . I don't know , should I tell my mom or not?

    Luckily, my dad is now at the acceptance stage. Shortly after my mom came out he fell into depression. Those were some dark times. Now however they are happy, they are watching TV together as I'm typing this :slight_smile:

    Just as the coast was clear I began building up courage for my coming out. I admire my mom for hers because it sure is not easy. I somehow climbed so deep into that closet I distanced myself from everyone the last year. I also felt depressed and just as my emotions leveled out again, my dad and mom had a huge fight :tears: . So much for confidence. I were writing a letter and only got halfway. I'm a bit pathetic, really ain't I?
    What scares me : Won't I cause a lot of tears if I come out?

    My brother is also a bit homophobic. He accept my mom and all but is totally against other gays! :bang: I also want to tell him. But he has a reputation for not being able too keep these kind of stuff too himself and I don't want my parents or friends to hear it from him and not me.

    My friends on the other hand is not generally homophobes. We are almost sure one of our friends are gay or at least bi, but I know how wrong people can be. So, since it's holidays we are seeing each other a lot. My one good friend invited me and two other friends to spend a few days at their farm. We were going to play paintball and stuff and just have a good time :icon_bigg I thought about coming out to them then. Unluckily my one friend cant go since he's away on holiday. So my friend asked my brother to come along :bang:
    Now I can't tell them. My brother on the other hand are leaving 10 hours before me to go to one of his own friends so, who knows maybe I still tell them?

    At the moment I just need to talk this out with someone, since my life fell apart (again) over the last two days. I just want to stop living a lie and being who society wants me to be. Just to be myself for a change. Since my bro is leaving when I come back I think I'll tell my parents then. But who knows?

    There! Now I feel much better. Any advice welcomed, if you think I need it :slight_smile:

    P.S " Whatever life brings I've been through everything. But now I'm on my knees.
    But I know I must go on. Cause inside I know many feel this way :slight_smile: "
     
  2. phoebe

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    if your mum is a lesbian then i think she would be accepting goodluck!!!!!
     
  3. Fiddledeedee

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    Hi Phoebe,

    This thread is a year old. The OP's situation has probably changed so posting is not helpful. Please check the dates before you post in order to reduce forum clutter.
     
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