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Coming out to relatives before the holidays...?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by FishMan27, Dec 14, 2012.

?

Do I come out to my relatives before I see them (via a phone call) or when I see them

Poll closed Dec 25, 2012.
  1. Call before

    1 vote(s)
    7.7%
  2. Face-to-face

    12 vote(s)
    92.3%
  1. FishMan27

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    Alright, so this past Thanksgiving, I had an extremely uncomfortable experience at the dinner table when my aunt started talking about me one day hosting Turkey Day with my wife and six kids (jokingly about the six kids). I wanted to come out to my extended family when I saw them, but I never was able to work up the courage.

    As Christmas draws closer, I wonder if It would be better to call my aunts, uncles, and cousins beforehand and come out to them before I see them and start to panic. I'm pretty certain everyone will be OK with me being gay; it's just difficult to find the courage when they ask me things like if I've "seen any hot girls lately."

    So do I call 'em up or try to tell them when I see them?
     
  2. madi

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    I have been struggling with how to tell my extended family as well, but I don't think I'm quite ready yet. That's a good idea to do it at Christmas when everyone is together. I think it is up to you and there are advantages and disadvantages to doing it over the phone or face-to-face.
    over the phone may be easier for you which should be a huge factor. On the other hand some people don't like being told that way because they feel it's less personal...kind of like breaking up with someone over the phone.
    Face-to-face could be uncomfortable for you and them , but could also open up positive discussion among your family and most people like being told this way.
    Again I think you should care more about what works for you and not them, but either way there are perks and pitfalls.
     
  3. Deaf Not Blind

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    holidays are bad time to screw with family emotions. every year they will remmy it!
    do it before holidays but face to face one on one.
     
  4. babyjax13

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    I'd do it after Christmas is over, phone calls work just fine most of the time : )
     
  5. introvert

    introvert Guest

    Don't do it during the holidays, you crazay?
     
  6. FishMan27

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    I don't really see my extended family much besides during the holidays, and I do agree that face-to-face is more personal. Also, I don't think my coming out will negatively affect our holiday. That's one of the toughest parts: I'm confidant my family will be totally fine with it, but it's still tough.

    I'm just a little concerned about having the courage to do it once I get to my relatives' house. Does anyone have ideas as to when and how to come out? Should I do it at the dinner table? Should I ask everyone to gather and tell them then? Should I wait until someone asks about girls/talks about my future family (although, I'm a little concerned about panicking)? I feel like telling everyone all at once would be best, and maybe easier (I'm not sure), but would it be appropriate to tell individuals separately?
     
  7. babyjax13

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    If you are sure that it will be positive, then you are probably fine to do it. I'd say whatever way you are most comfortable with is the best. You might tell a few of them (whoever you trust the most) first and then ask if it is a good idea to sit down as a family at dinner or something and announce it. That way you have a few people for support and you have some practice! There really isn't a wrong way to do it, unless it comes out in a fight - of course...don't do that : )