Holy crap. I don't think I can do this anymore (also, I apologize if I'm repeating myself because I have posted similar topics before). In fact, I think this is why I'm becoming more & more introverted because I just don't want to dive into a conversation knowing that the "girl talk" is likely to surface somewhere down the discussion line. We've got some family friends over tonight & it only took about 5 - 10 minutes (upon sitting down at the table with everyone else) before the questions started popping up: "So Luke, we've got this girl at my work & I think you should 'get in there'", "Any action lately, Luke"? etc.). It's getting progressively more awkward as well (since I have now accepted/discovered myself) & I'll often just dip my head and laugh awkwardly/play around with my phone. I was considering coming out to my stepmother first (she seems to be the most accepting), but I was painfully pushed deeper into the closet today when she noticed 2 guys holding hands in the street (we were in the car) & was going on about how it "wasn't right/natural". I really don't know where to go from here. I'm thinking of telling my sister (even though she has expressed her distaste for homosexuals) because we're a lot closer than I am with my parents, and I think she'd be cool with it. I don't know, I just wanted a place to express my feelings at the moment..:icon_sad:
Haha, man I HATE when my family does that crap! It never ends!!!! :bang::bang::bang: Don't let it get to you. I always twist it around in my head an answer back "oh yeah I've been looking at a few [bold]people[/bold] sorry it's not 1,000,000,000 advice
I'm sorry to hear that. When I was in the closet years ago and someone would bring up the girl subject, I would just brush it off in a "haha, no I'm not really interested" way, but yeah it definitely gets annoying. As for your family not seeming to be accepting, sometimes their views change once they learn that someone they love is gay since it hits close to home and they trust that the person knows what they are talking about and experiencing instead of just being something they see on the side of the street, on TV, or hear about in the news.
You shouldn't feel pressured to come out to your family if your not ready or if your not sure its the time\great idea, its a big step to come out to family members especially ones who have voiced unfavorable opinions about gays but there is no rush. I personally dont think its any of my families business what my sexuality is, up to the point i have a partner of the opposite sex that i want to bring around. Until then I'm happy with a few close friends knowing. This way there is no drama and im less stressed because i have people i can rely on when it comes to the subject of my sexuality. So thats what I would suggest, tell some trusted friends if you want some weight lifted. Will be a good start to a support system come the time you come out to family. As for the annoying questions about girls and action, tell them its none of their business and you want to keep those private matters private and they should respect your wishes. They dont know that its an issue for you until you say something.
I understand how it's annoying you, you just want people to shut the hell up. Although, trust me, you would not rather have your female relatives asking if you think that the guy on TV is hot, it's a whole new level of 'awkward'. Also when it comes to people seeming to be non-accepting with their little remarks, their views will change when it's put on the table in front of them. My step-sister used to make little remarks like "unnatural", until she found out both me and my step-brother (her brother) are gay.
I think you severly need to mentally "seperate" from your family, because it sounds like they are a terrible influence on you, considering they are making you feel more introverted. I assume you live at home? Are you planning to go off to college, or find a job in the near future? Remember, it is your life. Your love-life, your everything! You have a whole life ahead of you, which you can spend any way you like. There are so many wonderful things to experience and see out there, so don`t let your family affect you to the point where you "wall yourself in". So, your step-mother thinks that love between two men is negative, so what? That`s her flaw, not theirs. Her ignorance and lack of tolerance is entirely on her shoulders, it says something negative about her, not the objects of her intolerance. You are still a wonderful person, her opinion doesn`t affect that. The love you will find in your future will still be a wonderful thing, whether people like her reckognize it or not. People are individual, they are unique in their own way, whether gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, you name it! What defines a person is how he/she treats others, not what he/she/hem/hir/so on does in bed. I think it is always hard for a person, it was for for me for other reasons, to grow up and seperate oneself to a certain degree from your family. It`s always tough to cross over that barrier, from being a teenager, to stepping into the adult suit, where one has to accept that you might have different opinions, values, goals from what is expected, family always seem to have certain ideas about what you should do, and who you should be. They apparently have the vision, you`re going to find yourself a pretty girl, get married and make them little mini-you`s. That`s not going to happen. Or, that is, the finding of a pretty girl isn`t going to happen, the rest still might At some point, whether because you tell them, or time proves it a fact, they are going to have to just accept that. In the meantime, you can`t put your life on hold, or let every emotion be ruled by their expectations. You have a life to live, one that doesn`t really require their approval in any way. It is your life, you don`t want to spend it listening to haters and naysayers (damn, I am quoting my little pony so much lately it is seriously starting to worry me!). So, to heck with their opinion and vision! Try thinking that next time they bring it up. If you can go mentally "oh, whatever" every time they bring up the subject, and let it enter one ear and exit the other, maybe it will get easier? Because their two cents on this matter seriously isn`t worth it (*hug*)
