Urghh. So I've been home for a day and I want to go back. My mom has be throwing the usual comments out, about how my clothes don't match, how I smell like men's aftershave. I can deal with that. I can even deal with her usual mental games (she exhibits a ton of borderline behavior, which would only be understandable if you know what it's like.) I found out from my sister that she's been making faces behind my back. Literally, when I walk out of a room. It was because I dress in guys clothes (I never dressed in very feminine clothes before, but going home I decided that it would be more painful to regress than it would be to face her reaction. My sister and I were talking about how everyone changes going to college, and I have changed by being more self-assured, and not caring what others think of me. That's when she told me how funny mom's face was every time I had a guyish outfit on and that I should've seen the expressions she made when I walked in the door. (After I turned down the hallway.) Four weeks. She just waits and waits and doesn't say anything until she lets it all out at once. She does that for everything, and I'm just terrified at what's going to go down. The anxiety and self-consciousness is killing me. She is the only one who makes me feel like this. I don't know how to make it for four weeks. And we're going on a short family vacation which involves a lot of swimming and a fancy dinner. I have fancy clothes (which I'll have to prepare myself mentally for her to see) but I desperately need swimsuit!help. I really just need help on how to make it through the break.
Me too. But I did this summer go to Ross gt swim trunks, and another pair at Target, plus a boys dept top for surfing so those plus a binder that is good for swimming, i did! A gal whined how i dressed...then saw an older woman in ugly mens swim trunks and i grinned, so she shrugged and shut up. Just do it. I am wearing mens dress shoes to church even on Sunday.
