I've been thinking a little bit about the whole coming out thing the past couple of days, partly because I'm thinking about coming out to a few of my friends in the next couple of days. And I've been wondering, what's my whole motivation for doing it? I'm really not feeling that highly motivated to do it right now. I guess I'd just have to say that I'm not feeling that it's nearly as important as I'm sure others of you feel it is. To go have a normal conversation, and then out of the blue drop the fact that I'm gay. And I'm doing this because... why? I'm an actor on occasion, so I've had to go and evaluate a script to find out my motivation for saying my lines. When I come out to someone, I know exactly what I'm going to say. It's my reason for saying them that I'm struggling with right now. I'm the type of person that if someone asked me directly if I was gay or not, I'd say "yes" without even flinching. But to go out of my way to tell someone that I'm gay, I just don't see a point. I mean, I don't have other people telling me that they're strait. I think the main reason for telling people is that I'd want to tell them personally instead of having them hear it through the grape vine. I joined a GSA-type group at my high school, and if anyone ever asks me if I'm gay, I'm pretty sure I'll just go and tell them "yes." And I know an actively gay person in the group knows one of my friends from cheerleading, so if my name ever gets dropped when they're both together, I'm pretty sure my friend will pick it up. I asl don't want to go through the whole thing of having other people find me girlfriends when I don't want them. The main reason I came out was so I wouldn't have any more (no offence against any of them, it just gets awkward for me after a while when they want more than I'm willing to give [relationship-wise, i mean]). I think this partly has to do with the fact that I'm nervous about how people will react, but I'm mostly just wondering why people make such a big deal out of the whole thing. And when I do want to come out to someone, I'm wondering how I'd start to gear the conversation in that direction, so it wouldn't be something that I'd randomly drop. Any comments/suggestions?
Comments? Yes. I think you've hit it spot-on. Really, there's no need to make a huge deal about coming out. I've been the same way for the past 6 months, really whoever ask, i'll respond, but i'm not going out of my way to get to anyone first, im fine having the rumor mill do my work. Suggestions? Not really. Just enjoy life, forget for once about being gay because really, it's the smallest part of who we are, there's no reason we should let society tell us to blow sexuality out of proportion. Have a great day:icon_wink .
well I am 100 percent in your boat on this.. or I AGREE with you.. but I just cant play the part until Im out of highschool. This is what motivates me to come out at all. Because certain people can know and others cant. So the ones who id like to be able to talk openly with need to know, so i come out to them. I wil deny anyone who i figure cant know, just because its so risky right now.. being in highschool, the preschool, cultural warground. When I am out of highschool, i will be following that method to a tee. It will need to be said on ocasion, but generally, they might guess, they might ask, they may never know, and i wont care. I will say hes hot, and the ones with an issue towards it can go to hell. anyway, i basically have one more person to tell now, and i really feel i must do it soon. Its just hard.. harder than before. sorry dad.
That's almost precisely where I am. I come out to those who need to know and who would want to know. The ones who don't need to know or wouldn't want to know I don't tell them. However, I've kind of given up on keeping it a secret at this point, so it can just trickle down the grape vine, and anyone who openly has a problem with it can just go and get mauled by the entire school for being an ignorant bigot. There's really just one close friend who I think needs to know, but is pretty conservative...so that's kind of tough...the only issue he said he'd ever take a liberal issue on was stem cell research, so I think his conservativeness extends to gay marriage as well. But yeah, It's really different in each case and everyone should do what they think needs to be done.
