I've started to like someone who is M2F and part way through transition - I really do like her but this is new to me - I have quite a few questions and not too sure how to ask her them. The last thing I'd want to do is wreck this by offending her, any advice?
Like when will her transition be complete? What do I do in the bedroom considering she doesn't want anyone 'down there' until after reassignment? Which I understand. I want to ask her about how she chose her name etc, just because we talk about most other stuff but I don't want to upset her. I also want to reassure her that I do see her as a woman, she's worried I don't
If you're using "her" and "she", I think you're already most of the way there. From my limited knowledge, transgender people are very thankful for others using their chosen pronouns.
I completely accept that she's a woman, I wouldn't be attracted to her if she wasn't, but I have no idea how to talk to her about such sensitive subjects?
I can't speak for her, only for myself, but I can offer my perspective. I can understand why you'd be worried as it can be a very sensitive subject. First and foremost, to me anyway, your questions are all pretty reasonable and wouldn't offend me personally. Most of the things you want to know I would probably share openly with my partner and I'd gladly share if asked. Using the right pronouns is definitely an excellent step. I'm generally a pretty open person though. I might think differently if I had transitioned, had the surgery and was trying to keep it from my partner, but in your case, where the partner (you) already know, it wouldn't be offensive to me. Like I said, I don't know her, so I don't know what her attitudes are in those areas. As far as in bed... I have kind of the same attitude about "down there" : no visitors until I've done some remodeling. I still enjoy foreplay, above the belt stuff, and pleasing the other person. Ultimately I would say when the moment is right, ask one of the tamed questions and gauge the response. If she seems willing to talk, continue. If not, then back off on the questions a little for a bit.
I have a good friend who is FtM and he is one of the most level-headed individuals I've met when it comes to emotions. I can't speak for anybody here, but I feel like going through such a metamorphosis teaches somebody A LOT about life. You're right, it's awesome that you're using the right pronouns. I also think that she might be more willing to talk than you think...An adult talk about it would definitely make everybody happier, I think.