Does she like me back? Is this a lost cause...?

Alright, so lets get a few things clear first. I am 13 years old, and I live in the state of Maine (not that its a country in itself or anything. Unless there is a country called Maine… Off topic, sorry!). Near the coast, on an island to be exact. Now, creepy stalkers I don’t really care for, but I do need some help in a relationship.

I moved here (to Maine) about 4 or 5 years ago. About half a year after we moved, I met a girl. She was 7, I think, at the time. But then again I was probably 9 or something– so who cares? Anyways, the first time we met we instantly got each other. We both loved video games and anime and all that. And we were both into art. It was prefect. Practically no one on our little island was like this, no one but her. And… Urm… Me I guess? Anyways, again, we meshed perfectly. The next time we met was a while later– it almost seemed like I couldn’t find her for the longest time. But then I found out that my step-dad worked for her father. Brilliant! In any event, now I went to her house for a party. I met her again. I won’t say her name, but it starts with M.

Anyways, this “M” just happened to annoy the hell out of me! She was annoying, rude, and all of my OWN guy-friends hated her, too… But as the years went on, or, I suppose months, I started to like her more. At first I was only friends with her because I couldn’t say “no” to not being her friend back, because that is the kind of person I am. But as we got older, rumors started to spread that SHE liked me in a lesbo sorta way. Now, at this point, I didn’t like her in that way back. I wasn’t even sure we were friends. I even baby-sat for her sometimes. So I pretended not to like her to my friends. And they started telling her that I didn’t think she was a good friend, which, was maybe true. But she tested me one day, riding home from school. She asked me for an hour and a half, over and over, that we shouldn’t be friends anymore. But for some reason, I pleaded that we SHOULD be friends. I didn’t even know why, I just got sort of attached to her. Secretly, everyone else thought she was weird. And secretly, people thought that of ME too. So maybe I just related with her? Who knows. But, finally, she accepted. I had passed her dumb test– and that was when I started becoming even BETTER friends with “M”.

Now, back to the rumor part for a sec. The reason people thought this was because she way always hugging me and biting me. She didn’t do this to any of her other friends, and even if she got out of the bitey faze, she still asks for really personal hugs an awful lot. I am home-schooled now, though, so rumors aren’t a problem. But its still a sign to me, to be hopeful~

Anyways, sorry for the block(s) of text, but I am almost finished. This “M” and I are now really close friends. She told me I was the best friend she has ever had. Now she is 10, by the way, but thats not the point. She just said it, at least to me, like she SERIOUSLY meant it. I am the one and only person who she respects. Honestly, its pretty true. She told me I was her inspiration, for the artwork she does. It was just amazing the way she said it, it made me feel all snuggly~ ^^ And then I was certain. That maybe, just maybe, she loved me too. But I’m not so sure.

I want to be sure, though. Because I plan on telling her how I feel at new years. Do you guys think this is right? There is probably a lot of weird lovey hinty stuff that I missed– but I just don’t want to seem like a pedo. I mean, liking someone who isn’t even 12 and younger then you, while at the same time being gay and creepy about it? I feel sorta weird. xD Honestly. Ah well, what do you guys think? Not too harsh, please. My family and friends don’t know. They would laugh. >_> But I do want your honest opinions. OH, and one more thing! She acts sorta choked up and shy-ish around me. Its odd. Not sure though, take it as you want.

First post ever btw, guys. Hope its not TOO jumbled.

 

Hey, thanks for the advice. I know we are both young, but I am certain this is more then those 'hormones'. x3 Still, thank you, and I probably will tell her<3 :icon_redf