I'm not sure if I'll have the courage, but I hope to tell one of my oldest friends about my recent... developments. For the first time I think I will "come out" to someone who has known me most of my life - who is very dear and something like a wild brother to me. I know he would be understanding, accepting - maybe even weirdly excited about my news... only, I'm not exactly sure how to put it! I'm not straight - that's damn certain. I don't know how far into this I will go before I find out where I'm happy. Yes, labels are superficial. Still... "Queer" seems to suit best in terms of some-word-I-can-use-to-articulate-my-heap-of-revelations-to-an-unsuspecting-friend. I really do feel most comfortable and correct using this term, but it is the fruit of cold research. I want to know more about who embraces it and what subtleties might be knotted in with it. Anyone wish to elaborate on their understanding of "queer?" If not, then just wish me luck and good judgement in the few days. I'm embarking on a 5 hour drive to NC to meet my dear friend and possibly come out during a pub crawl or hike! Lots of time to grow bold or chicken. EC has been incredibly instrumental for me in finding peace with all of this! -R
Well for me personally I've always concidered queer to be just a synonym for gay, but I guess it just means non hetrosexual. So...I guess queer is a word that you could use to describe yourself. You could just tell your friend that you're attracted to women and leave it at that. Hopefully your feeling bold! This friend of yours sound's wonderful. Good luck!
The thing is, labels are things created for 2 real purposes: the first is to help other people understand what you're feeling, and the second is to help you understand what you're feeling. In this sense, a label is supposed to provide some ounce of comfort. This is why people sometimes choose to not associate themselves with labels - because it makes them uncomfortable. That said, if "queer" is a label that fits for you, then run with it. And if your friend is a good friend, when you explain (or attempt to) what you're feeling, I'm sure he'll understand. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
This is basically what I said to my friend when I "came out" to her in my drunken state. I wasn't sure what to call myself then and hell, I still don't know now and that's cool with me. I do know that I'm way more attracted to women, but at times I still find myself confused. Not a ton of useful info here, but if queer is comfortable for you then go for it! Have a safe drive and let us know how it turns out!
It's great that you've found a word that you feel describes yourself! Our language falls so short of describing human sexuality or human experience in general, but it's how we make sense of the world. I think that's why some of us get so hung up on labels when we are questioning. It's hard to understand what you're feeling if you can't put words to it. Just be aware that your friend, if he's not part of the LGBT community, may not know exactly what "queer" means, so you might have to help him understand what you mean when you're describing your sexuality. And good luck!
