Topic^, and I really wish I had someone to takk towright now in real life. I was talking to a greeat female friend of mine, and just randomly bsing, and all I could think was that she doesn't really know who I am. Which makes me feel like shit. Which makes me want to drink more. Which just makes everything worse. I was hoping to come out last fridat, but my best friend ouldn't come over cuz he was studying dffor finals, and I feel like I missed my chance. I know that thjis totally isn't true, and I don't know how to make myself believe it. Just felt like a horrible piecve of shit lately, so thats why I decided itd be a great idea to drink on a mondat night. Well, lo and behold, those two bottles are gone. Awesome. I know I ewouldn't be dr drinking if I had someone to talk to. Fuck why is this so hard. I never even drink anywhere near thhis much, thats how shitty I feel today . Maybe its just the christmas sopirit. I'm gonna regret this when I wake up.
Just to start, that's how I came out to the first person at college. I just kept going on shots until finally I ended up in the bathroom floor. Then, from what I've been told, I broke down and completely spilled my guts out to a guy who I though was a friend. Since then he has tried to black male me with that information(not that it did him much good). Long story short, I really wish I could remember that night in the bathroom. I could have really fucked up some things that I had going for myself. the only good thing that came from that night is I learned where my limit was.
