Any other children of divorced parents?

My parents aren't divorced, so I don't have first hand experience, but you shouldn't be trying to make them happy.

Do what makes you happy, if one parent gets pissed off at you for hanging out with the other then I think this is a typical case of the playground taunting "if you two can't be friends then I don't want to be friends with either of you."

You're in college now, an adult, so you don't need these childish issues. It may be tough for your parents, but they should remember they are there for you, not to bag on the other parent.

All the best.

 

Well I would first find out when your parents would like to see you. If both of them want to see you at the same time then your in a bit of a pickle!

 

My mom and dad were not married, and he left her when I was about 4 or 5 I have only talk to time a hand full of times as he does not wanted anything to do with my Brother and I. So I'm kinda in the same boat as you.

 

Yup and I feel your pain. It's like "will you two just :***: talk to each other". so frustrating.....-_- :bang:

 

I was really young when mum & Dad separated 2 years old and within a year of that they divorced Both have re-married Have always stayed with mum. Dad has always been around I have twin step brothers 14 live with mum''love them to bits '' & a step sister 18:bang::***: living with dad .

 

Present!

I never had a good relationship with my father to begin with. I cared when they divorced because I was.........8/9 ish. But I couldnt care less in the future and certainly not now. I actually consider myself lucky because my father and his side were lovely spawn of the deep 'bible-belt'. One of the key reasons we never got along was my uninteresting in masculine qualities/hobbies.(Though in my defensive, I wasnt even slightly feminine at the time. I was just more interested in more intellectual activities.)

So it was actually in my best interest.

 

Parents broke up was I was 4 years old. Moved in with my mom. She married another guy, but I wouldn't consider him a father... (He brought the homophobes into the family)... ...

 

my parents divorced when I was in middle school... i live with my mom and my dad's in china and i have no idea what's up lol

 

my parents divorced when i was 11; me and my sibling stayed with our mom, dad moved to the other side of the country and remarried. during my early teens there were a couple of christmases that me and my sib spent with our dad and his family, but generally christmas was spent at home with mom and we just called dad to say merry christmas etc. by the time i was in my later teens i didn't really visit my dad much at all. now i'm in my late 20s and we only talk occasionally. i don't even bother sending him a christmas present and he often doesnt send me one.

*shrugs*

my opinion is that you shouldn't be trying to make either of them happy. you should do what you want to do. all of you are adults who can take care of yourselves. if one of your parents gets hard feelings from you not visiting them, try to visit them next year, just don't bend over backwards to please either of them. you have your own life and they have theirs and they can deal with missing you at christmas time just like you've had to deal with missing them.

 

My parents have been divorced since I was like four years old. My brother and I basically got into a routine of what we would do every year. We spend Christmas Eve at my dad's house and spend the night. In the morning, we open gifts with our sisters and then we drive back to my mom's house where we open gifts with our brother and then we spend the rest of Christmas at my mom's house (when more family comes over).

That doesn't mean that holidays and events are always that easy. Most of the time I have both my mom and my dad trying to guilt trip me into siding with them when they both have plans for the same day. Honestly, it gets extremely annoying because one way or the other I'll end up disappointing one of them. So I try to do my best to find a compromise where they'll both be happy. An example would be how one time there was a birthday party for stepsister's real dad (who is like an extremely close uncle to me) on the same day that my mom had planned a baseball game outing for (she had bought the tickets months in advance) so I had both of them guilt tripping me about being in both cases. So what I ended up doing was going to the party for a couple of hours, then got picked up by mom's side to go to the baseball game with them and then when that was over I was dropped off back at the party. It was a lot of running around on my part, but at least I was able to appease both of them.

And then for Christmas this year I'll be in Cancun with my dad's family...something that did not make my mom extremely happy. I can see why too...it was rude of my dad to plan a trip on a family holiday where I normally see both families (he told me about the trip AFTER they had already bought the plane tickets and booked the hotel). So to try to make things right with my mom, I have spent and will continue to spend every other single holiday this year with her because I will be missing Christmas.

...trying to appease both parents is definitely a fine balancing act lol

 

I'm still in middle school but my parents are devorced :'(

 

while my parents only split when i was 15, i still get what you're all going through. I essentially take it in turns each year who i spend christmas day with. But i still have to visit the other parent christmas morning and now i've moved out, it means getting up extra early so i can spend christmas with flat mates, my dad and my mum as well as any other family member that seems to want to see me. Last year i spent my first christmas 'alone', it was me and my flat mates. But i still had to go see the parents.

 

my parents split up when i was like 2. My dad lives in Mexico. I have spent every Christmas with my mom and her family. This year my dad is coming to visit me and my sister with my half sister and her mom and brother. so im spending it with them this year. not really excited for it but i guess its wont be that bad.

my parents dont really have a problem being in the same room with each other. but now that she has a stupid boyfriend. it is.

 

My mom split with my dad right after my little sister was born I had to be 3 because we are 3 years apart. The she remarried caught her new husband cheating on him right after she had my little brother. She waited for him to come home and she beat the shit out of him. I mean like drug his ass up the stairs and threw him across the room... anyways he got an ass whoopin' I'll never forget. She's with husband number 3 right now and I'll think that this one will last cause he is kinda a doormat.

---------- Post added 20th Dec 2012 at 02:57 AM ----------

I don't worry about stuff that isn't in my control. They are grown ass adults and they can handle things their own way. It would be nice if stuff could be normal, but that isn't up to me. Make the best of what you have. My dad died shortly after I was 13 and I wasn't allowed to have contact with him growing up. I would give anything to sit down and ask him the questions I've had since I was little, but I don't have that chance now.

Nothing is ever perfect including a family. Take things for what they are and don't stress over what you can't control.

 

My mum left my dad when I was about 8. But I don't have this problem cause my dad doesn't want to know or see me. Had a brief encountwer with him about 2 years ago, I'm not missing much.

But I don't think you should worry about making them both happy. They should be trying to make their child happy more so, and know that who you choose to spend time with isn't a spitful decision and they will both still see you for the christmas period

 

My parents divorced when I was seven, and my sisters and I mainly live with our mum, visiting our dad every other weekend. We alternate Christmas at each house; this time is at my dads, but we had Christmas with my mum on the 22nd.

 

My parents divorced when I was in 5th grade. What we do is that I spend Christmas Eve with my mom and sister so we can serve at the Christmas dinner and then go to Midnight-Mass afterward, and then open presents when we get home. I usually go to my dad's house on the night of Christmas Day when he gets back from Bismark since he's visiting my step mom's family during the day. Things really aren't that good between us, so it works out fine since I only have to see him for about three or four hours over Christmas break.

 

My parents just recently divorced.

I'm not sure I really count though... Cause I only want to be with my mom and her family. My dad and his family I could care less about.