Hi, I'm 16 and gay and currently out to everyone (near enough) and I'm currently studying in Sixth Form and pretty much ALL of my friends are girls - and that's the way it has always been. I haven't really "gotten out much" outside of school and find myself pretty lonely as I have never had a partner or even hardly spoke to any other gay guys as no one from my school came out. But at my current school I talk to nearly all of the girls and I find myself much more comfortable and myself around them. Now I am not really an ambigious gay - I am quite 'camp' - but not extremely camp haha and I don't fit into the flamboyant and confident stereotype a 'camp' gay sets so I am quite reserved and quiet - unless I know the people really well or feel very comfortable around them. Anytime a straight guy comes over or talks to me I just get so awkward like they're judging me or are digusted in me (even though they aren't as my town is pretty accepting of gays). Because I get so awkward around them whenever they try to have a conversation with me I give very closed answers and I am terrible at speaking and I have no idea why. I am also awkward around other gay people (Even though I have only met about 2 or 3 that are out). For example I was sitting with 3 other gay people in a room and the girls and they are extremely camp and have known these girls that I have just met for a LONG time. They all talked about gay sex, college etc and I was sitting there extremely nervous and intimidated by them - as I feel as though they are judging everything about me because I am quiet and not as camp and confident as them (even though sometimes I wish I was). How do I overcome this awkwardness? I really don't want to be lonely forever but I am not helping myself at all. Thank-you for taking the time to read, it's appreciated so much.
Well, I think this is something you should share with the people you're around. Fuck it, let them know that you're awkward while you try to warm up. Then it's not a surprise when they look over and you're looking disheveled. It's okay to give this kind of information to people if they seem genuine. They will help you out with it and get you feeling confident about yourself. I could stand to work on this myself to be honest, a majority of the time I don't care what people are thinking therefore I'm confident. It's when I'm outside of my own element is when I can be a little nervous. But just be up front with these people if you want to be there friends.
Hey man, I just want to say that you gotta get yourself out there more. You are only 16 and rushing a relationship never ends well. Take the time to figure out exactly who you are and what you want (and I don't mean this in a sexual way). Surround yourself with good people - people that uplift you and push you forward. It seems to me that you are too hung up on labels: straight, gay, campy, etc. People are people no matter what. We all bleed red and we are all different. Everyone brings something different to the plate so appreciate everyone for who they are and in turn they will appreciate you. Don't be shy because someone is straight or gay. They are no better or worse than you are. We are all equal on this big playing field. We might miss a catch or two, but who doesn't? I think the best thing for you to do is to start forcing yourself to make conversation or chime in. It'll be difficult at first, but you already realize that you are giving closed answers and that you are reacting to interaction in an awkward way so you have the power to change it if you want to. Throw yourself out there. Everyone has something different to bring to the world which makes each and every one of us unique and special. Don't worry about saying or doing the wrong thing just be yourself because that is all anyone wants you to be. The people that want you to conform to their wants and needs aren't people you need in your life. BE YOU the people that really matter will love you for it. I hope this helps. Don't over-think things too much you'll be fine.
