I don't know that this is really asking for support or advice, more venting. Wow, mixed signals are confusing. This guy and I have gone out a bunch of times, and we always spend a couple hours together, eating, shopping, walking around, and we always at least seem to have a good time. He always suggests that we get together every time we hang out (or go on a date). We're both fairly busy working in our late 30s/early 40s (and both came out relatively late), but sometimes I feel like he has only so much time to spend with me. Usually I e-mail after a bit and then he eventually gets around to suggesting we get together. I'm trying not to be pushy. I get the sense that he doesn't do well with intimacy (or maybe there's something else going on that I don't know), which concerns me. I think he'd freak out if I suggested we went further. We did have an awkward conversation at one point about "what we were," but I'm not sure what we came up with. Which concerns me even more! I guess at this point I'm going to keep my options open and still go out with him from time to time.
I know! I hate mixed signals as well! Which is why I warned my new girl-friend as soon as possible, that I do NOT take hints or such, and if she feels/wants something, she has got to tell me staight up, because my mind-reading ability sucks! Also, being clear when communication, not walking around on the edge of a topic, helps a lot. Talk to him, there is no shame in admitting you feel insecure sometimes, odds are he feels that way too! Tell him you would appreciate it so much if the two of you could be clear and direct when you talk with each other. Say you worry, because he seems to be a litle reluctant regarding your intimacy, and it makes you unsure of how to proceed, or what he needs from you. If you angle it that way, it won`t feel like you are accusing him of something, and that is really important.
