Hey all, I'm looking for some advice. I identify as bisexual, but in truth I'm not sure what I am. I am physically attracted to guys, but I don't really want a relationship beyond that with men. On the other hand I feel a strong desire to be in a relationship with a female, but I am not all that physically attracted to them. I have had sex with women (and I enjoyed it), but I prefer more of a emotional connection. So what would you consider me and am I the only that feels this way?
Hello FederalJack, It sounds to me like you can comfortably call yourself a heteroromantic bisexual. If you want to get even more specific than that, we could say that you're a heteroromantic 4 or 4.5 on the Kinsey scale (bisexual with greater sexual preference for men and greater romantic attachment to women). You are most certainly not alone in having these feelings.
I feel really similar to you... I definitely feel an emotional desire to be with women, but don't have that same kind of sexual desire for them that I do for men. I'm sorry, but I'm not very knowledgeable of this stuff so I don't know the correct terms at all. All I can tell you is that you're not alone. (*hug*)
I'd hazard to say that you're a homosexual heteroromantic, probably Kinsey 4. But remember, these are just labels, and as I've heard from lots of people that I really respect, labels are for jars. So if you can't find an exact label to put yourself under, it doesn't really matter - just do what feels right for you .
I was in this exact situation for years before I came out as gay. I can't speak to your situation exactly, but for me, it was a matter of becoming comfortable with identifying as gay. The lack of attraction to women and the physical attraction to guys is generally what I felt I want and the lack of emotional connection stemmed with my discomfort with identifying as gay. Once I became more comfortable with being gay, I was able to connect emotionally to guys and be open and find a guy who I actually really wanted to be in a relationship with. This might be the same thing for you. Give it time. Don't put pressure on yourself and just do what feels natural. You will figure it out in time.
