Hello I am new to the forum. I feel like I am a little old to be posting here, but hey, its the first forum that came up on the google search results. A little background - i am almost 30 yrs old. married (to a man) for 5 years. great sex life, love it. i have always sorta exhibited male behavioral traits, including aggressiveness which had put me in a heavily male career, i love sports, and when i was little i was a mega tomboy. i lived in a religious conservative area where gay was not a real thing. like, if you were a lesbian, they would just tell you that you need to meet the right man and you'd be straight or whatever. however, i've always been ultra liberal, ultra pro gay rights, but never really had any serious attractions to women. i've been like "wow she's hot" but "i want to do sexual stuff with her" never seemed to follow. i dated guys in college, made out with some women, but never did anything past that with women. i met my husband, whom i love very much, and like i said above our sex life is great, i am very satisfied by it. Now my issue is that I keep having lesbian dreams where i am doing sexual stuff with women. I'd say like one dream per month. they are very vivid and hot, they are sometimes women i know, sometimes women i don't know. but i always have sex dream about guys (particularly famous guys?!) but sometimes also sex dreams involving my husband. so i guess, what i'm asking is, do you think this is something indicative of some unknown part of my sexuality? or just happenstance? my husband would NOT be cool with me doing a chick, and i don't really have a desire to do one. this is going to sound really bad, but i am trying to be candid -- the female genitalia are not attractive to me. like, i feel like i would respond sexually to a woman doing stuff to me, but i don't think i could do stuff to her. trying to think things out. anyone with similar experiences please advise.
First of all, welcome, thanks for your in-depth telling of thoughts. Anyway, you sound fairly straight to me, actually. If you have a great sex/romantic life with your husband and don't look at other women in a way more than admiring beauty, it's safe to say you're hetero. It sounds like you just have an open and loving attitude towards intimacy, which is always a good thing.
I'd have to agree. The beautiful thing about the inside of your head is that it's where you get to do things you wouldn't really do in real life. I'd say enjoy your dreams, but don't worry about them. They disappear when you wake, and your real, straight, happy married life is there.
These dreams don't mean you are secretly attracted to women at all. You said you were a tomboy right? In dreams, sex represents merging characteristics with our sex partners. If you are having sex dreams with women, it may mean you desire to be more feminine. I went onto the dream interpretation site I enjoy so much (dreammoods) and it says this: "Homosexual To dream that you are homosexual (but you are not in your waking life), represents a union with aspects of yourself. It is symbolic of self-love, self-acceptance, and compassion. If you are un comfortable with homosexuality in your dream, then it suggests some fears or anxieties about your masculinity (if you are male) and femininity (if you are female). You may be experiencing some insecurity in your relations with the opposite sex. .... If you are homosexual in your waking life, then the dream is simply a reflection of your own self." So there you are.
PinkTractor: +1 on your thoughts about dreaming. I was reading the thread about lesbian dreams. I read your blog entry about someone basically bashing bi people. That was the most true answer to their "questions" and judgments. That was absolutely hilarious! I laughed so hard lol Just had to share I love your avatar by the way! :icon_bigg
thanks all the thoughts are definitely appreciated. i mean, i always identified as straight, and felt straight. but the dreams, especially the consistency and frequency of them was a little concerning. i thought maybe i was repressing some sort of desires, but i tend to agree that its not the case.
If who we are in our dreams represent our reality, then I am most definitely a gay male pirate who has a severe feline phobia, lol! No, seriously, that was not meant as making fun of your post, so don`t misunderstand me! My general rule is that dreams should not be taken litterarily. For some reason, I am almost always male in my sleeping reality. In real life, I am about as feminine as feminine goes, except from a few considered male interests, like gaming and such. But in my dreams I am consistently male, doing men. Which is weird, as I am a firmly established feminine lesbian, lol! I don`t usually worry about it, I`ve reckoned I simply are well in-touch with my masculine side. Often dreams are a lot more symbolical than literal. For example, I have noticed that when I am in a period of stress, I will dream more, and often in situations where I am hunted by big cats, like lions or tigers. Or something scarier, like the other day, where I dream a two-faced chick was whispering and laughing at me. She didn`t do anything threathening, but for some reason her eyes scared the crap out of me. They looked really dead. I still haven`t analyzed that one, because honestly I am scared that if I put any thought to it I`ll end up having the same dream again. Which I have experienced often happen. If you let go of your worries/thoughts about it, chances are the dreams will either vanish or at least diminish. If you want them to. In my mind, a few nice sexual dreams now and then is just nice and refreshing I agree with the upper poster, you sound straigth as a nail, so it probably does not mean that you have any latent lesbian stuff going on. It is completely normal to have sometimes somewhat odd sexual dreams. Sometimes people even have sexual dreams about friends or family. It can freak a person out, but most psychologist say those dreams do not mean that you have an actual sexual attraction to a family member, but that it can represent a need to get closer to, or be understood better, by said family member. It is weird as heck, but not unnormal. So, I wouldn`t worry about a lesbian dream!
