So today I finally did it. No, not come out. Of course not. I simply... gathered the courage to try get a reaction out of my parents regarding LGBTQandeveryoneelsethatispartofthediscriminatedminorityimsorryidontknowhowtomentionyou. Let me explain. So today, just now, in fact, I decided to go on the aggressive. I asked my parents, if they had heard about one particular movie, "Prayers for Bobby". Of course they hadn't. I told them it made me cry really hard, and it carried a really deep, meaningful message. When asked about what the movie was about I hesitantly answered, "A gay... son.. and his mother." My mom's reaction was - "Don't be silly! Why watch this kind of movie?!" I replied that it was really meaningful, and it carried an impact, and made me really sad. My dad said, "Don't say like that! What if next time your son was gay? Leave it to my dad to misunderstand, that I was sad because Bobby was gay. I immediately said that no, that's not what I meant. In fact, I wouldn't mind it! I'd actually mind it more if my son wanted to be Christian - if I had a son. Then came the words I had been dreading. "When they're wrong, we should guide them. I could not believe it, so I asked him to clarify - "Who? Who's wrong?" The answer was, predictably so, gays. I did not know how long I had been waiting for this. I mean, did I really think that my parents would tell me it's alright to be gay? I was so desperate to get the green light, the OK from my parents that, I had blinded myself. I don't want to disappoint my parents. I don't want them to think that my "disease" was caused by them. Yet, I'm afraid. What if I have to carry this secret until my death? Sorry I just needed to let this out. There's nobody I can really talk to in my life, so.. thank you for your time..
That was brave! At least it sounds like your dad would support you. Even though he was talking about a gay son, I bet he would feel the same about a gay daughter. I'm sorry that your mom reacted badly. The same thing happened to me. I was talking about how gender is a social construct and she said that I sounded like a "lesbian feminist" like it was a horrible insult. I just wanted to tell her that she was right and it's perfectly fine to be those things, but I wasn't ready for that conversation yet.
What an amazingly sensitive way to start broaching the subject! Excellent. Now you now you may have to go slow (I'm sorry). And you also know that your Dad will be there to support and love you. Be proud of yourself, that you were able to handle and guide this conversation this way. I wonder whether talking one on one to your parents might be better, as you get closer to coming out to them. Edited to answer the title of your post -- yes, for sure worried about disappointing my folks. They're 88, so I'm not sure I ever would. OTOH, they often say, all they want for me is to be happy and not alone. But I'm pretty sure that if I introduced a boyfriend to them that could be a shock.
I just wanted to answer your question. My stepdad is the closest thing to a father I've ever had and I respect him tremendously. We haven't had a very strong relationship but he thinks of me as his child and is very proud of me. He's older and a war veteran and I really don't know how he would react if I came out to him. Right now I honestly don't know if I ever will. I don't really want to come out to my mom either because it seems like it would just be chaotic and confusing for them and I don't have the energy to stand up for myself and help them through it. Or deal with the fallout... I'd almost rather never tell them and let them pass away not knowing. But even thinking about them being gone makes me deeply sad... It's just a hard place to be. You did a good job bringing the topic up. I hope you can talk to them about it more, and maybe open their eyes to how their bigotry is harmful and not helpful. I hope they will learn that all people deserve respect.
