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I'm officially sucidal

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Nibble, Dec 20, 2012.

  1. Nibble

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    Hey!
    I posted a bit middle of this year explaining how I had sex for the first time with a guy barely even knowing what I was doing and how it would alter my mind.
    Now I find that I can't resist the urge to fuck guys even though I feel the same for women but it's not as strong since I've nt had sex with a girl before.
    I saw a guy dis evening and stalked him a bit cause I tot his body was hot!
    He saw me and in a bit we were in his car with him rubbing my cock and asking me if I could bottom (it was an outright no) although we wld nt have sex today.
    But on leaving him, I refused to drop my number and he told me I cld drop by his house anytime.
    I cant resist going to his house tomorrow even if it's just a blowjob or mutual masturbation.
    Problem is I hate my life now and the attraction I have for hot guys and am seriously considering ending it all cause I want to get married and have no secrets between me and my wife, but how do I tell my wife I fucked guys before. I cant even trust that I wldnt do it in marriage!
     
  2. Ticklish Fish

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    Calm down there!

    Not all women have conservative, old style view of marriage and, sex.

    Please don't be suicidal so soon. Give yourself time to understand what is going on
     
  3. Argentwing

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    If you have an honest-to-goodness, prolonged attraction to guys, I doubt you should call yourself straight. Wishing feelings away rarely leads to good, as you have figured out already with your suicidal thoughts.

    Believe it or not, telling a girl you like guys is not so bad. I didn't plan it, per se, but I ended up coming out to my long-time gf that I am bi. She was not mentally stable at the time (angry at me over something) and let fly a few homophobic insults, but deeper down, she's okay with it. I felt great getting to talk to her about my feelings, and she knows it makes no impact on my love for her.

    If I may ask, why do you feel that ending it all is a good idea?
     
  4. Nibble

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    I come from a christian background in an african country and have to marry a christian wife (so you see my situation).
    Am already considering possible drugs to make me sleep off...
    Someone gimme a reason to continue!

    ---------- Post added 20th Dec 2012 at 10:04 PM ----------

    ending it all makes it go away!
    I mean, the president in my country passed a 14 year inprisonment against homosexuality and my family would probably disown me!
     
  5. Messed Up

    Messed Up Guest

    Buddy- that is no reason to end your life (is there ever a good reason?) but that is the most extreme thing I’ve heard in a while. Dude, maybe you’re bi and there is nothing wrong with that. CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN! BREATHE! CHILL! Okay? Relax, you can still be married and have kids. I am attracted to women too, though I am attracted to men. I have strong feelings for my best friend (a girl) and she’s a girl I could see myself marrying. However, I’m young and am just now exploring my attraction to guys in a HEALTHY way- I just asked a guy out at 6am today :slight_smile: Life is great! And it WILL be for you too! Explore your sexuality in a HEALTHY way- by that, I DON’T JUST MEAN if you were to have sex to protect yourself, moreso I mean explore in a HEALTHY MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL WAY your sexuality. Think before you leap, ask what it is you want, what are your options? Lemme give you a head start; death is NEVER an option! You have TOO much to live for and experience!

    Life doesn’t get better... IT BECOMES WAY MORE AWESOME! :grin: Don’t immediately jump to “suicide” as a solution to your problems. Date a guy, hold his hand, learn more about him, let yourself fall in love, enjoy life in this HEALTHY way. Don’t fuck every guy that lives and breathes but explore your feelings for men, and feelings are not always physical- it’s mental and emotional and spiritual. Become a HEALTHILY well-adjusted bisexual man.

    You’re going to get married. You’re going to have kids. :grin: Don’t worry so much! MUAH! Okay?
     
  6. Argentwing

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    Nobody said you had to go public with it. With it being illegal, especially, I'm sorry to hear you're having such an issue.

    But killing yourself is always a bad idea. Even if by some circumstance you were found out and went to prison, you would still have your life. I know it sounds like a long shot, but if you find a woman you trust enough to marry and tell her you have an attraction to men, she should understand. And even if you choose not to tell her and keep some secrets in marriage, you always get the chance to fix it later if you promise yourself you will stay alive.

    Know that you have the support of everybody on here.
     
  7. Messed Up

    Messed Up Guest

    I’m Christian, too. What’s your point? I come from the Caribbean, a HIGHLY homophobic nation (if I may be so bold, I think they’re the most homophobic- we have a genre of music meant to hate on gays, so yea, but that’s besides the point now) but my God LOVES ME! My Lord LOVES ME! Christ LOVES me! And He LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW! Your time to join them in Paradise is not your’s to decide! Therefore, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO END YOUR LIFE! You’re young, I’m sure. Let yourself mature. Wait. Think. Be patient.

    ---------- Post added 20th Dec 2012 at 01:14 PM ----------

    Life is more rewarding than you’re letting yourself see. Life is a LONG road and you’ve just started walking it.
     
  8. burg

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    new Zealand England and Netherlands and other countries would consider you a candidate for refugee statist have you considered that option.
     
  9. Capichino

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    Ur probly think that ur straight but u could be bi or even gay
     
  10. Gravity

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    Regardless of what else you choose to do, I would suggest not going to this guy's house tomorrow. If these are the thoughts and feelings you're having surrounding having sex with men, then having sex with a man is probably not a good idea right now.

    What are your feelings about having a wife like? Do you find yourself attracted to women in any way? Or is the desire to get married to a Christian woman more or less a thing that other people are trying to get you to do?

    Feel free to PM me, or any staff member, to talk if you are feeling like you want to hurt yourself. You aren't alone, and things can get worked out in time.