is hard to not know whats ur sexuality is. i havent come out yet... its been tough for me.. for once in my life this is the only thing that i cant do. my parents dont know that im gay or even my outer family dont know. i dont know how to come out cause i know that they'll be disappoinment.. and if my parents denie my existance ill be crush. im only 17 just turn 17 last may... im attending college right now. and right now i need my family's support finacially and emotionally. my family and friends expect alot out of me. they all look up to me (friends).sorry if its confuing.... im confuse and dont know what to do. im thinking about comming out when i turn 18.
Hey Ericku, You're in a bit of a pickle, but as comfort - you're not alone. So many gays and lesbians avoid coming out because they're afraid of what their parents/friends will think. First of all, I suggest taking a look at the coming out guide located at the top of this forum ((Link here). Also remember that coming out doesn't have a time limit. It doesn't have rules and restrictions. Don't think that just because you've come to terms with your sexuality that you have to tell everyone straight away. Somethings that you might like to try: Tell a close friend/family member before hand. Someone who you're fairly sure will accept you and support your sexuality. Having just a single person you can talk to will make the process a lot easier. Try and predict how people will react. Predict realistically, but try to avoid the really negative outcomes of "My parents will hate me for ever and never speak to me again" unless you truly believe that. You know them better than everyone. As you're only 17, if coming out to your parents means they'll cut off any support then chances are coming out to them while you're still depending on them isn't the best idea. One of the most beneficial things for me was finding other people "just like me." It helps you understand that you're not alone at all, and it also provides support and advice. Hey you've come to these forums so you've basically already done that Hopefully this helps out a bit. Let us know what you think. Dave
well thats the problem all my friends are well known by my family and if i came out and told one of my trusted friend i know that its going to lick...and my close family will all know.... it will be the top news on my myspace account and ill have all of my close friends and family calling me and emailing me.... and if i did come out ill be the first in my dad and mom side thats gay so theres alot of pressure on me...what should i do now?
maybe make a new friend?? someone separate... someone maybe you think might be bi or gay... its an idea...
tired of lying thats what im trying to do for almost 2 years im trying to get new friends but somehow they ended up meeting my family members or somehow they know one of my family. and i cant be hanging out with gay and bi people cause they know that im bi/gay and im not ready yet.
oh yeah i forgot to intro myself as u all know by now that my name is erick. Well nobody knows yet that im gay/bi in my family. im still confuse what iam. by that i mean if i like guys more than girls. well i cant spell "advise" right on my title. well im only 17 with a mind of a 20 years old. i too mature for my age thats what people tells me. im not a anti social cause im pretty popular while i was in high school(last year). alot of people know me cause im really friendly and i always smile. as one smart ass said" smile it confuse people" all my friends and family will be shock if i come out so im still waiting for the right time to do it. oh yeah im attending college right now its a community college cause my so called "parents" dont want me to move yet and i quote "your only 17 you cant move yet, ......your underage". my major right now is Culinary Arts(cooking) and after i get my A.A. on that ill transfer to a 4 year college to get my BA on business.. i guess thats about it if you have any question email me and ill get back to you...
it sounds to me like you have serious trust issues. Perhaps your early graduating (by Canadian/American standards... not sure where your from) could be alienating you from your peers? Being confused about your sexuality is hard enough as it is... I really think that no matter what, you need to trust someone. Find someone new that you can trust, or start developing trust in someone you already know. Theres no rule that says the person you tell will tell the rest of the world, or your family. If you can really trust them, they wont tell. I hope things start looking better for you... finding this place is a start. Good luck
