Hello! Firstly, apologies on how immature this question probably sounds I am pretty much a mess right now, something to do with realising I am indeed lesbian and accepting it for the first time in my life. I have also fallen hard for my best friend, probably something a lot of you have gone through and it's safe to say it sucks and hurts like ****! I seriously have no idea whether my friend likes me back in this way, she is giving very mixed messages, so much so that one minute i am 100% convinced she likes me, and the next Im totally sure i am in the friend zone. To cut a very long story short, I came out to my close friends (including her) as "confused about my sexuality". I'm not confused, Im pretty clear on what I am, but this just seemed easier for now. I hoped that this would maybe push her into showing whether she had feelings for me, but during the first few days it really did just seem like friendship and i was devastated! But I did accept it, I know I cant make her gay and I love our friendship over anything else, I need her in my life so I made the decision just to try and let it go. But the other day, we were texting and as a joke I told her I hated her (she knows its a joke, its all good!) and she replied with "You so dont hate me " and then went on to tell me she didnt want to get a shower because it was too cold to get naked and wet. I have no idea why a friend would mention being naked and wet to another friend who is "questioning their sexuality". Unless shes trying to figure out if I do like her? Or is it flirting? I know no one can answer me with a definite yes or no, but any advice/opinions any one has would be amazing Thank you for reading!!
Hmm, it's fairly common to get impressions that straight people like you, it's because straight people are usually way more outgoing with other members of their own gender, exhibiting behavior that's just fun for them, but feels like attraction to us. It's because being straight, they view other people of the same gender in a non-sexual light, so it doesn't occur that how they interact with them resembles flirting at times. However, that joke she made was verrrrry suggestive :O This is one of those cases where there's no clear answer, you could think about it for weeks and never know. Straight crushes are often like that. To avoid sinking a huge amount of time into this, as well as being disappointed, I suggest you just ask her. Don't ask "Are you lesbian" and "Do you like me" in the same conversation, for now just try and establish if she's even lesbian/bisexual. It sounds scary, but you can't imagine how long you can get stuck on something like this only to find out far down the line that they either weren't interested the whole time/aren't gay. I just recently resolved a crush that had been going on for 4 months since the beginning of this school year. The entire time was constantly up and down, sometimes very flirty, other times, just friends. I finally wrote him a letter telling him everything, and it turned out he didn't feel the same way (but he was kind, we're best friends now ). That took 4 months to figure out, and in the end, I had to just ask. Trying to decipher "signals" was just getting me nowhere.
Ya know, I was in the same situation. My friend told me she doesnt feel the same and now I'm trying to get passed all the **** from how torn my heart is. That may be why I'm biased. My friend would say some pretty questionable things to me too, even though she knew I was attracted to women. (I also didnt say exactly what my sexuality was because I wanted to be vague...) Veeerrry questionable, but I won't post what she had said for censoring sake. Women are such a tease... :tears: She could like you, or maybe shes just a flirt like in my experience.
Thanks guys i appreciate your answers I think if things start to get any more suggestive I might just end up having to ask her... not sure exactly how to word it though! But may have to for sanitys sake. 4AllEternity, really is great that you two remained friends, gives me some hope that even if this all comes out, our friendship wont be ruined! Myheartincheck, really sorry about your bad experience =[ I hope you meet someone that makes you happy soon and can move on from all this
Thanks! You too! I reccomend writing a letter. It gives you time to think about what you want to say, to look it over and think how she'll read it. Write it in an innocent way, like "I really care about you, as more than a friend. You make me happy, I just want to know if you feel the same way, so I don't do something that makes you uncomfortable or awkward. If you don't feel the same, I'm alright with that, and I hope we can be friends still, I promise not to push things". You basically want to convey that you like her, and that you just want to know if she likes you too, and that if she doesn't, things don't have to change. You can still just be friends. If she's a good friend, she'll understand, and least partially. At the very least, a good friend would give you a chance to prove things won't be weird, and she may even take it positively, be flattered by it. My crush was great when I told him, he was so kind, and rather than be bothered by my feelings they made him happy that someone could care about him like that, even though he didn't feel the same. We're great friends now, though I'm still a little sad, things could have been way worse .
