i don't get those "feelings"

Yes, these feelings are normal.

Those 'butterflies' in your stomach are those warm fuzzy feelings, aren't they? When you said you have a desire to have sex with girls, yes, okay, but then you go on to say you don't get excited over girls and boys. Well, they're one in the same, almost. Maybe?

To me, it seems you are having the same feelings as everyone else, and when you don't think of people when you masturbate, so what, many people don't.

Finally, when you said "i never considered myself a sexual person anyways,". A great majority of humans are biologically sexual, as most animals on the planet. Now, there are some people who are asexual, who lack interest for sex and sexuality.

When you said, "...my relationship would have some sex but not a lot" why? You said you have sexual desires, so I'm assuming you're not asexual, but why do you not want sex? Do you not consider it romantic? In my opinion, sex is very romantic/intimate if you're doing it with someone you like/love.

So, all in all, I feel your feelings are normal, and you seem to be over-thinking it or possibly misjudging yourself.

 

believe me, you are far from the only one who considers their libido to be less active than your average person. there was a time when i thought i might be asexual because of similar feels to what you described, but i now know i'm not asexual i just have a not-so-strong libido. it's no more unnatural than someone being absolutely crazy for sex (ie. having a strong libido).

on top of this, i feel absolutely no sexual attraction to anyone at all unless i have developed a very close, strong, emotional relationship with them first. i was very confused by this too at first, but then i found the term "demisexual" which seems to suit me well. if what i described sounds like you, maybe you should look into the term as well. there are more people out there who feel this way than one might initially think.

 

yeah, i understand. it wasn't until actually having a relationship which involved sex that i thought i had figured out "sexual attraction", but years later i think my understanding of it has changed lol.

it just doesn't come so easily for some people, but it will come in time through experience (not necessarily sexual experience). just be sure to listen to your body always so that you get whatever signals it sends you when the time comes and know that you're not the only one going through this. life isn't a race and there's nothing wrong with working out these things at a slower pace than other ppl deem "normal".

 

Have you ever considered that you might possibly be 'demisexual'?
Demisexuality <-- If you click on the link, you can learn more about the definition of Demisexual, but a few quotes from that page seem to sound similar to much of what you've said:

Like I said, it seems to ring somewhat true to what you've written in your posts. Let me know what you think!

Also, I think it's important to remember that, first and foremost, your sexuality is yours, Woundsneverheal. No one else's. What does that mean? Well, it means that your sexuality can be whatever it wishes and that's perfectly fine, whether it's deemed "normal" or not. In all honesty, the word "normal" is quite overrated and every person in the world seems to have a different definition of it, anyway. So when it comes down to it, I find it best to just focus on myself and what I feel works for me. For you, not feeling that "warm and fuzzy feeling" when it comes to sexual things isn't wrong; it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you or your sexuality. Everyone is wired sexually in different ways, and this just seems to be how you're wired - and that's completely okay.

Sexual variety is the spice of life, literally, and there is someone out there for most people no matter how they identify. Try not to listen too much to people who say you should be this way or that way or feel this way, and try not to let them pressure you into feeling something that doesn't come naturally to you. They are not you, they do not own your body or know your sexual feelings, so why should they look at you strangely for not fitting in with them? Perhaps they're just curious more than anything, since they may not be used to hearing of people who are not intensely sexual or very much interested in sex -- but hey, that's alright! There are plenty of people out there who are like you, but especially in this highly sexed-up society, these people may not talk about it too much with others because they feel like they're not normal in that way. But they are! Sexuality comes in many different shades, so many it's hard to count. Your sexual wiring and how you feel about sex in a relationship is a part of what makes you who you are, and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

yeah. i don't bother trying to discuss such things with others. once you get out of school, other people tend to not care so much anyway.