My mum is trying to get me to break up with my girlfriend!!!

Do you have PFLAG or a similar organization, or an LGBTQ center near you? She needs to learn more about gay people, about being gay, and about being the family member of someone gay. If you don't have those resources or can't get her to go, you could try getting her to go with you to a therapist so you can talk this out.

 

your're 21 , i understand she's your're mom but its your right. that's your girlfriend , you decide whether you break up with her or not. i wouldn't let my mom (if she was still alive) do that even though she's my mom

 

okay well , good luck with your mom. sorry , i misunderstood. :icon_redf

 

sorry :/ ...i bet it would be...i actually am having to go through my sister and dad trying to keep me from talking someone i truly care about if that helps

 

How is this going?

Check out the collection of letters EC has in one of their links. Possibly in recources. That could give you some ideas. In any case, you are an adult, your life is your own, and what makes your mother happy, is not what makes you happy! Your mother`s words is not law, you can and are capable of ignoring her. Maybe time itself will prove your cause, if you let it. Just tell your mother that it is simply none of their business, and that your lovelife is your own to decide and enjoy!

But there are some good threads around here, look around.

Good luck, and be patient with your mom. Learn inside eye-rolls, that is my best advice, cause then you can get frustration out without starting an argument Your mum will get the message eventually, even if it gives you some head ache on the way. Try to learn to ignore her, at least the negative stuff she says about your girl friend.

If you counter every "You should break up with her" with "I love her, so I will not", then you might piss off your parents as much as they piss you off, and a peace treaty can be made in time

 

Hopefully time will help. Another suggestion, have you brought your GF over? Possibly brought her to a family dinner? If you force your parents to have some contect with her, maybe they`ll grow to like her, and then maybe your mother will loosen up? If some important family dinner/holiday is coming up, try saying that either you get to bring your gf, or you`re not coming. Just so that they get that if they want you around, they`re going to have to accept the whole package

 

Tell her nicely to mind her own business. If this doesn't work tell her again. Next explain that you are a woman and make your own decision and you are happy and you wish she could be happy for you. After that tell her she in danger of never hearing from you again and do not call or speak to her for a couple of weeks. Maybe she will get the hint you are a woman and have a mind of your own. Good luck.

 

Yeah, no I understand *hugs*
How long had you been with your gf now? And how is her family?

 

That`s great to hear Two and a bit years is great! I have yet to be able to keep up a relationship that long, so you`re a lucky girl. Try focusing on that whenever your mother gives you crap. You`ve got a great thing going on! And have some good times together. Try not to let your mother`s ridiculus behavior change how you and your GF have it together. Cherish the moments, be a little spontanious and romantic Try to tell your GF how much you appreciate her, and just work on being happy together. I think it`s so important that you don`t let your mother`s ridiculus issues influence your relationship, but I get why it gets difficult. You can do it though!

I have a suspicion your mother will start changing her tune, when you spend more time over at your GFs family than your own. If you cannot have an accepting holiday at your family`s place, spend more time with the family of your GF. Then maybe your mother will start getting the point Most parents will when facing the fact that their daughter don`t want to spend time around anymore, change their tune. If she loves you, she`s going to have to learn to be less selfish about it, and accept that you`re an adult with a life of your own!

*hugs*

 

I think you need to wait a little while s until you try and properly get through to her as her emotions are raging at the moment so when she has calmed down then talk to her. Don't break up with your girlfriend because if you get through to your mum then you will regret it. I really feel bad for you but I think the Psychiatrist would be a good place to go to as it gives a safe place where you can both state you feelings without it getting to wild.
I wish you the best for the future and remember we are all here for you x