Some backstory: my mom's parents are Taiwanese and speak very little English. I speak very little Chinese. They've tried to learn English and I've tried to learn Chinese, but it hasn't helped much. So, while I love my grandparents, we have never been able to substantially communicate. I never planned to tell my grandparents that I am gay for a variety of reasons - including the fact that I have no idea how to say that in Chinese. Mainly, it seems they would never be happy with anyone I date, even if it were a Taiwanese guy. My cousin married a Taiwanese man and they still find fault with him. They were not happy when my mother married my (Peruvian) father, but then were ashamed when she divorced him as well. I figure, why complicate matters by telling them I'm gay and have a girlfriend whom I intend to marry. Well, today my mom told me that my grandmother was repeatedly asking whether my sister or I have boyfriends, and she finally said that my sister has a boyfriend, but I have a girlfriend. My grandmother just said, oh! Mom told her that she's just happy I am alive (I've had some serious medical problems in the past) and if my gf makes me happy then she's happy too. I'm not really sure how to feel about this. In some ways I feel like I should be upset, because it's my story to tell if and when I choose to tell it. But part of me is relieved that I don't have to hide it from my grandparents or try to find a way to tell them myself. I just hope it doesn't become something my grandmother nags my mom about.
so your grandma wasn't angry or anything, right? it stinks that your mom did that without your permission, but it sounds like she felt like she had to. maybe your grandparents just don't like men, hahaha, maybe this means they'd actually like your girlfriend
i don't really know how my grandma reacted. my mom said she just said, "oh," but i don't know if she is trying to spare my feelings or what. mom said, we'll just let them chew on that for a while. i know my grandma will tell my aunt (mom's sister), who will probably tell my cousin. they're pretty religious so i didn't even want to go there. my cousin is a facebook friend of mine but i hide my relationship status from her just to avoid conflict over that. my aunt is very competitive with my mom, so i hope that will not become some point of contention with them, too. ugh.
well, i hope things turn out all right. maybe it'll be tough for a little while, but hopefully any negative feelings don't last long. (*hug*)
