What do you do when open gay/bi guys are nowhere near your region of your state and you just want to cuddle and act like couples with somebody of the same gender?
There's not much you can do, other than looking to the future. I'm feeling exactly what you are right now, just two days ago I talked to my crush and learned he was really close to me, but as a friend, not romatically (he is bi though). What I craved more than anything was to just be able to hold him, and be held by him, in a pure, innocent way (I really couldn't care less about sex atm). I wanted to be able to hold his hand, to do things together, and most of all to say "I love you" and hear him say it back. We've become the best of friends, but unfortunately he's not interested in the kind of closeness I desire. I look at it this way. When I look back on all of my crushes and relationships, I see a pattern of them getting progressively better. My female crush before this latest one was way less intense (I would not say I truly loved her. I was attracted to her, but compared to what I felt with my latest crush it was nothing), but I actually asked her out. The crush before her (another girl) was less intense, and though I didn't ask her out, I did dance with her and almost asked her out. The crush before that, my first one (and actually the one other crush that I would say I truly loved), never went anywhere. She moved away just when I was fumbling my way closer (I was a foolish 13 year old then). As you can see, as a I grow older, there's been a pattern of my crushes becoming more meaningful, and me taking more action. I see it as myself slowly but surely moving towards true, reciprocated love. I feel as if I'm so close to it, that the next person I fall in love with might be the one. Every time I go through a crush and it ends, I find that I've learned something, that I understand myself better, and feel more and more confident taking the initiative with my crushes. So my answer to you is: look to the future. You must continue to look for love, if you keep your eye open and some courage available, you'll find it. Someday, you'll be able to just reach over to the one you love, embrace them, and feel them return the gesture. That day could come tomorrow, it could very well take a decade. Who knows? What's important is that I feel certain that if you keep looking, you'll eventually find love.
Eternity, that was so poignant. Kudos for such a great response. I'm in a similar situation, and to make it worse, I've got a gf who has a deathgrip on me, which I only halfway want to shake. :S It seems like looking to the future is all I do, and the future is spent as quickly as the past piles up, which is quickly. Peace is found in little caches here and there though, to keep me going.
You could try gay bars if there are any near you? I'm not sure. I'm lucky enough to live in an openly LGBT friendly city, with like 10+ gay/lesbian bars (annoyingly I'm too young to go to any of them, but only 9 months or so till my Birthday :/)
