O.K. I guess this all started when i when i entered highschool (I am a freshman). I have an elective at the end of the day for the whole semester (keep in mind that everyone in this class talks to each other and is closely knitted because we will be in the same class for four years and there is no getting away from someone in this class). A few weeks ago I met a girl, she is very pretty and very intelligent we also share many likes. After a while of getting closer to each other I decided to tell her that I like her. I did a few days later and she shared that she really admired me (which was very obvious) . The bad thing is that she still likes her ex still and cant seem to break loose (he is really d0uchey owns a band no one knows about and has a girlfriend who i must say is very b!tchy he literally has made out with so many female he has had mono a few times [and she still wants to be with him :eusa_doh: ]). So she began to tell me of him and how she still likes him and wants him back when she says she wants to be over him. I constantly try to tell her and help her but she keeps pushing and pushing me away. Instead of going to me she goes to the most annoying,person in the world, he personally messed up me getting other people sooo many times I just want him to explode or at least get my chance to break his nose. He begins to get really close to the girls I like and screws up everything. Since he talks to her more than I do because he sorta "took my place" O decided to talk to him on facebook about if I should keep her or let her go... Well whoopty-friggin-doo he likes her also. He continued to play dumb with me as if he knew I didnt like her and said "oh she doesnt talk about you much, hahaha LOL" so I got all depressed and said "Oh, thats perfectly fine go ahead and get her tiger she is all yours! Well I need to go now to wrap gifts and sign Christmas cards now. Bye : )!!! :bang::bang::bang::bang::bang: " when I have had them done for days. I got really depressed and I dont know what to do, i have considered killing myself many times and have been thinking of cutting again, so please help :help:
well what i would say , is ..don't give up until you personally think you're wasting your time. if you feel she's worth then don't give up but if you do..then i'd suggest to let go....letting go is hard...coming from experience...people have told me to let go of someone i had strong feelings for online but i didn't and because of that ...i got to admit she still has feelings for me but were in the process of working on whether we should stay friend or try agin since we dated before.
Dude, you've been friendzoned. This is classic friendzoning: A) You take on the role of trying to "help" her. B) She "admires" you. That's a non-sexual/attractive word. It says "I respect your talent", it's not the kind of thing you say to someone you like, at least on it's own. C) She's into someone, and a "bad boy" at that. D) You've relinquished the dominant position to the competition. I have no idea why you talked to him about this, there's nothing good that could have come from it. If he liked her, well of course he's not going to just give up to be a nice guy to you. If he didn't like her, he's still not going to avoid her just because you're jealous . By acting this way around him and her, you've put yourself in a submissive position, giving him control. At this point, I'd say there's not much of a chance she's going to change. She's built up a non-sexual image of you (she thinks of you as a friend, so in brotherly terms), and even likes someone else. That sucks, but that's just the way things are. Furthermore, it sounds like the person she likes is interested in her too, so honestly, I have to say you should just move on. Accept that you've lost this battle, but that you're more prepared to do better with the next girl/guy. Some important things you should take with you from this experience: A) Never give control to someone you're competing with for your crushes affections. Don't "talk" to them and hope they'll "do the right thing". It just won't work, and it makes you seem weak. I hate to say that, and I wish we lived in a world where people could talk about all of these things rather than playing stupid games, but that's the way things are. B) With girls, never take on the role as "boy advisor". Don't "help her out" with her "bad" boyfriend. Being a good person and giving the occasional valuable advice is what great friends do, but that's just it. She is used to hearing stuff like that from her BFFs, so when someone takes on that role, she thinks of them as a friend rather than potential boyfriend material. This is usually not the case with guys, I find that if you're both gay it's a lot easier to stay out of the friendzone. It's probably something to do with their homo/bi sexuality being a prominent characteristic of them, so you're always reminded "hmm, that person is a sexual being too". That's they key part of what the friendzone is: you don't think of friends as sexual beings, people that are personally attractive to you (you might think they are, but it's not backed up by any kind of feeling, like lust or love). It's difficult to break out of this, especially when the person is already crushing on someone else. C) If your crush is in a relationship or crushing on someone, call it quits. If you really like them, remain friends with them, and maybe someday things will change (just don't bet on it). But you must accept that at least for now, any chance of a relationship is nil. That means stop going out of your way to do things for her (still be nice, but don't sacrifice time with your long-term friends and time to pursue your own interests just to be with her), stop flirting all the time, stop trying to figure out "signals". To protect your sanity, you have to assume she is 100% committed and is not romantically interested in you. If she's really important to you, well, it's fine to keep that connection alive, just stop investing so much time and energy into it. She's obviously not returning the same level of effort as you are, so it's a waste of your emotional stamina and time. D) Give your crush space. It's one thing to be there for them, but constantly barraging them with "advice" will drive even a good friend away. People like to know that they can count on those close to them for help, but no one likes someone constantly pushing them to do or think something. Next time you crush on someone, use the time together to focus on just you two. Have fun, be subtly flirty. If they ask for your advice, give it. Don't constantly offer it. E) Finally, don't hate the person who gets between your and your crush. It's not a healthy emotion, it promotes obsessiveness, and prevents you from healing. The best way to get over a dissapointing relationship is to forgive all of those involved, and wish them best. I know it sounds cheesy, or useless, but just saying those words (when you're alone ) "I forgive you, and I hope you find happiness together" goes a long way when it comes to healing. You're acknowledging to yourself that it's over, you're willingly relinquishing bad feelings, and finally, it feels good to be forgiving. It's easier to hate, but once you've given that up it feels a lot better. Don't let hatred for this guy grow inside you, it'll eat away at you leaving you hollow, depressed, and lonely. I wish you the best of luck, don't think of this as a personal failure, view it as a learning experience, and look forward to the future. Someday you'll find someone
but as the person below which got me thinking as well , sometimes its best to let go and move on, you might learn from it , personally i like learning from my experiences...its quite a journey
