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names, small steps with mom coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Deaf Not Blind, Dec 22, 2012.

  1. Deaf Not Blind

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    well for 2 days we discussed lightly my name. i never liked it as a kid. so she brought it up and said she is fine calling me Kat, and if i just start using it and getting legal id with it, it soon becomes a legal name.

    I asked and yup she woulda named me David, IF I had been born a boy. I said what if I prefer it now, she replied she didn't care I can always legally change it, as many girls have boy names.

    Interesting calm discussion, and then talk about what candy to make. :slight_smile:

    Next step...what?
     
  2. Deaf Not Blind

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    Today I will wear my nicest men's slacks, belt, socks, and new shoes with a sweater to church. That will be step 2.
     
  3. Night Rain

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    Your mom is coming out?:eek: OK, just kidding. For your next step, just relax and be yourself. :slight_smile: You don't need to follow any steps.
     
  4. Argentwing

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    Sounds awesome that your mom is fine with it. David's not even an androgynous name; that's full-on dudely. I'm glad she thought nothing of it and would be fine with your using it.
     
  5. Jim

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    Ugh you're so lucky your mum was ok with it. My mum doesn't want me to have a male name :C
     
  6. wandering i

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    I'm really happy to hear things are so comfortable between you and your mom!
     
  7. Deaf Not Blind

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    Hahaha! Dude, you so asking for it! You are a funny guy! I am a list kinda person...I like to see things laid out. So in my mind, I must see a logical series of events that will lead to an eventual conclusion or I feel lost.

    ---------- Post added 23rd Dec 2012 at 06:46 PM ----------

    I know! Mom saying "lots of girls have men's names"...that kinda made me stare at her. David? She was going to name me that if I was born a boy...I asked why she didn't name me that and she said well you are not a boy! Coulda seen that one coming. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: But yeah, so anytime I want to start going by ANY name...she don't care! To me, that is a kinda large step.

    But today I dressed in all fine male attire, and she said my new shoes are nice. They are clearly obviously mens! They are black slip on loafer type, cuz I hate shoe strings untying...Calvin Klein...nobody at church said a thing. I never got talked to much anyways I think cuz I am single and weird, but I just got a smile from choir pastor.

    I keep waiting for things to get bad like every Queer experiences...but so far I have lost extremely little, they were not true friends anyways, and I have only gained more joy for being accepted by straights as a Transguy Christian at school. If I luck out and actually can transition and retain all I had before, I am really going to be confused. Love? Maybe I just am surrounded by REAL Christ-followers who try to love one another? I know that is what I do.

    Wow, next step is on Christmas eve...when I tell mom SolarCat was born a boy.

    ---------- Post added 23rd Dec 2012 at 06:46 PM ----------

    Move to USA and my mom can adopt you...and we can be brothers! What shall I call ya?

    ---------- Post added 23rd Dec 2012 at 06:48 PM ----------

    I have always considered her more a sister, and my grandparents my true parents. Gotta say though, maybe she does have a special love in there for me?
     
    #7 Deaf Not Blind, Dec 23, 2012
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2012
  8. Deaf Not Blind

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    i asked mom again about my name as she said kathy again, and she said it is hard to say Kat but she will try.
    And AGAIN I said well maybe I want to change it legally to David as I kinda like it...and she smiles and again said that is just fine with that, and that the man next door has last name DAVIS which is similar. So i said i am glad 2 good men are here when i am not, as I want her safe when I'm at school.
    Guys I really feel good about this!
     
  9. Greendalehumans

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    That's awesome!
     
  10. confuzzled82

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    Woah. I've heard of my given name going both ways, though more commonly male (from what I understand, there was an actress with the same given name that I have around when I was born, though she used the latter half of the name as a nick name, I use the relatively gender-neutral former half for a nickname). I've never heard of David as a name for a girl. Christopher, Kelly, Jamie, Sam, Jan, even Sue I've seen/heard of either way. (a male attorney where I work has the first name Jan)
     
  11. Deaf Not Blind

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    yup. It is something alright.

    Oh, yeah I heard of Sue...a Boy Named Sue...I like to sing it!
    "my name is Sue, how do you do?"
    hehehe!

    Anybody not know Johnny Cash? Well, I am the man in black! Puh!
     
  12. confuzzled82

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    People actually call me that when I wear a black dress shirt to work. Doesn't matter that I usually wear a rather vivid tie when everything else I'm wearing is black. I only wear the black dress shirt when I am wearing black pants. That may change when I finally get around to making my kilt out of The Rlyeh Sett...
     
  13. wandering i

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    I'm so happy for you, DnB. I hope everything keeps going smoothly :')
     
  14. Deaf Not Blind

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    :grin: thanks! I am happy I asked mom too. It didn't destroy anything!

    Mom is at dialysys now, likely sick when gets back so I won't say anything more tonight. But tomorrow test a bit more. I got about a month here.

    Anybody got ideas how to not fully come out but get mom to call me her son? :grin: Gee I hate female pronouns and being introduced as a daughter...but until my body is male, i will not expect it. Honesly, being the bigot i am, I am positive I would refuse to call a person another gender if asked if i were cis-gendered. Really...I would refuse them in my gender bathroom and no way a chick getting into my frat...i can see me that way..which is why i don't get too upset or forceful to others. Im really just a hypocrite at heart...if God didn't teach me to love i would be stuck up too.