So lately I've been really confused about..myself. I just keep thinking about everything and honesly I never really know what to believe. I say that I'm bi, but idk if I really am. When I watch porn, 9/10 I watch gay porn. I do watch straight porn, but much less often than gay porn. But here's my dilemma: I don't want to grow up gay and live a gay life. No offense to anyone, though. I want to grow up, marry a woman, have kids, lead a normal life. The idea of growing up and not having that life kind of weirds me out. I have little to no romantic attractions to guys, it's very rare if I do. It's purely physical when I find a guy I like. Sure I can say 'I love you' but I don't truly mean it. Btw, these guys I meet are from online. I'm attracted to hot guys, fit guys, etc. But here's my other problem: I don't know if I could be physically attracted to a girl. Yes, I do have crushes on girls, but I haven't had a girlfriend, I still haven't even had my first kiss. I could be romantically attracted, but I still don't even know.. Plain and simple, I'm confused.
i used to think like you when i was young.but as i got older and more exposed to other gay guys i realized my idea of gay culture lifestyle was just warped from what id seen on tv ect.in the end i realized i like being round other gay guys.( i realy didnt think i would) .really its not that different .i can fully understand how you feel its a real normal process of personal acceptance ....i also used to be more physically attracted to guys i think its more to do with your age. as i get older.i get more physically attracted to guys i like as people.(i look at some guys now and know that they are hot ect but if they aren't relatable to me i dont have much interest.its way different than when i was young.
It's not that I don't like the 'gay culture,' it's just that I can't see myself being in an actual relationship with a guy. I'm fine with gay guys, well most of them, my cousin's even gay. But that's just not me. I want to grow up and marry a woman, have kids, the whole norm, but not for the sake of conforming to the norm. I want it because I truly do want it.