I don't know if it's me or what. He's my best guy friend and I don't know if he just doesn't want to hang out with me or what. He never wants to hang out when it's ONLY me. We hang out in groups but nothing less. He doesn't have a problem that I like guys because he's a gay-rights activist (straight though...at least I think) but I don't know. I've just been having really bad thoughts lately and I don't know. I have something really important to tell him but it's not something I want to tell him over Facebook chat or in school. I want to get together so I can tell him something going on but I just don't want to be annoying,
Did he tell you he doesn't want to hang out with only you, or does he come up with an excuse every time? He may not have a problem with you being gay, but he might feel uncomfortable being around you because you're his friend. This is a really personal question, and you don't have to answer but, do you have a crush on him? I'm asking because he might sense it. And that can make someone uncomfortable. I probably need more details to figure out why he's acting the way he is.
No, I do not have a crush on him. I like someone else totally different but we talk all the time at school and on Facebook and there's never an issue. He has a girlfriend and I respect that. I needed to talk to him about something that someone had said to me about him and I don't want to talk to him about it in school or on Facebook because it could get him angry and/or upset, whether at me or in general, and I don't want that. But anyways, I would ask him if he'd wanna meet up in town or something and he'd say hes got homework to do but then the next day he tells me all about what he did the last night like he was with his girlfriend or something and she had the flu and he might get it and etc. and it occurred to me - I asked him to hang out and he said he had to do English homework. But he didn't seem like he was hiding anything. He flat out told me.
You should text him or message him on Facebook and tell him you want to meet up and discuss something with him in person. If he says no or has an excuse, then you should try to understand that if he's going to be that way, then he doesn't deserve your friendship. He could think you have a crush on him, but there's really no way to tell unless you just ask. And I wouldn't ask. That would definitely make things awkward.
I don't think he thinks I have a crush on him...nor should he...I mean we literally talk about everything together. He doesn't make it seem like I do because I don't LOL. He said a lot of his friends that were gay used to like him a lot and he didn't care- they just drifted away because they were ashamed of themselves but he didn't care.
That's very strange. I honestly can't think of another reason why he would only want to hang out with you in a group. That makes no sense. If he wasn't your friend, then I'd assume he wouldn't want to hang out with you at all. I think the best thing for you to do is just tell him you want to talk to him in person. If he declines, then you should either tell him on Facebook and hope he doesn't get mad, or try to let it go and keep your distance from him. If someone treated me that way, then I'd ask why or avoid them.
I'll throw this out there...is it possible he might be worried that other people may think something is going on between you two if you're seen alone together???
That is a good point, i just came out to a group of friends at "center ice", a skating place< and i fell and grabbed my guy friend and then everyone was like "whow he's not gay"
To be perfectly honest, I'm not really sure how to find out if that is indeed what's going on. I really wouldn't recommend saying anything because if that is not the case, you might be planting something in his mind which might make the whole situation even more difficult. Does he have any other gay/bi friends? If he does, I would try and be a little more observant in his friendships with them. Maybe subtly find out if he ever has one on one time with them???
Yeah he does, but they are mostly lesbian girls. I don't know about any guys. From what he told me, a bunch of his gay guy friends fell in love with him but were ashamed of it so they drifted away even though he didn't care that they liked him. I'll try talking to him today on Facebook and see.
