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Need Advice - First Time Confession

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by worriedWardrobe, Dec 22, 2012.

  1. worriedWardrobe

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    A little about me: I am the second youngest of five. I have trouble establishing lasting friendships. I'm terrified of the idea of coming out, and I've denied the idea of my sexuality for years.

    Okay, so, here I go...

    I am almost completely sure that I am bi. I have never said anything about it to anyone, but I have crushes on two of my friends. One is male, and the other is female.

    I have been denying the idea of me being bi for as long as I can remember, and it has not been easy. For the last four years I have been slightly depressed, and I could never quite figure out why. About five months ago, I realized that I'm "different", so to speak, and I have been beating myself up over it. I have lost several friends, and have been cutting myself daily.

    I think it's time that I come to terms with my sexuality, but I'm not sure how. I think I have one friend i could tell, but I'm still terrified of telling anyone. My friends have laughed at the idea of me not being straight several times, and think that I am as straight as an arrow. Not to mention that my father is an unforgiving bastard, and wouldn't take it very well.

    I am absolutely terrified of coming out to anyone, and I'm not sure how to do it. I think I want to, but I'm still scared...

    This is the first time I've ever said anything about it to anyone. So, thank you for any advice/support you may have to offer
     
  2. Argentwing

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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    "Coming to terms" with your sexuality is quite a bit earlier in the process than "coming out." Coming to terms means you've accepted it, and that you are at peace with the fact.

    Coming out, however, can be a battle. The best way to do it I think is to test the waters first by mentioning some LGBT topic such as gay marriage and seeing the responses you get. Once your audience gives you the go ahead, you can slip it into a totally different conversation about pretty much anything. Take for example if a girl says that any random guy is hot or cute, just nod and agree. You might get laughs and disbelief at first, but that's when you can say it outright in a very positive and non-tensed atmosphere.

    I won't deny it's scary, because it is. But once you do it the first time, you're hooked. It's a shell you break out of and afterward you get a natural high from the attention. <<I can personally vouch for that. Hardcore introvert here, mostly couldn't care less for talking about myself. But I really liked talking about my bisexuality to my gf.
     
  3. JohnJuan

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    The Swordsman is right, "Coming to terms" with your sexuality, or "coming out to yourself" is really the first step. Take your time and work on that. Look at the Empty Closets "resources" tab, google "coming out". There are a lot of resources that you can take advantage of.

    I agree that coming out can be absolutely bat sh*t terrifying, but as you become more comfortable with yourself it won't seem quite so bad.
     
  4. BiErik

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    Well honestly I am a bisexual man myself, you have made the first and hardest step, coming out to yourself. That is so difficult to let go, yet you did. I would ask you about your friends, are they staunchly against homosexuality?, have you shared secrets with them have they been trustworthy.

    You seem in such a similar situation as I was once. Its hard, but come out when you feel right about it. I told my parents when i was seventeen but they didn't believe me.

    I have some questions four you, first, how old are you, was it just one guy you had a crush, was it just one girl you had a crush on? By "different" do you mean you felt out of sync with everybody or is it something else?
     
  5. worriedWardrobe

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    My friends are strong supporters of LBGT Rights. In fact, a few of them are openly gay, but I have a feeling that it will be a shock to them. They think that I am absolutely 100% hetero.

    I'm 16. I don't form crushes easily with males or females. I have to identify with the person on an emotional level to even consider it. I also find myself looking at guys in the same way I look at girls.

    I always feel like there's a gap between me and other people. Something just doesn't line up, and I think it's because I've been trying so hard to suppress these feelings.
     
  6. BiErik

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    I cane out in march this year, I am a lot older than you but that doesn't really change much. I am very masculine, nothing about me is effeminate at all. M my friends are the same way. One is even a Lutheran minister. The others are Hunters and red necks. But I wad surprised they didn't really react at all, I asked if they knew, they all said no, it just didn't matter to them the female friends had a budget reaction. But the lgbt friends that you have I am almost certain they at least have a suspician.

    But I really don't think they will have trouble with it. Think about it this way, if they are shocked, its not that big of a deal. They may say wow or really how long ago so on.

    But in my experience the women are typically more shocked than any guy friend.

    Yes I felt that way being "different" but I always thought it was my size, I am a giant. But lately I am thinking it could have been the bi thing.