So it took me a full year and a half to talk to my dad and tell him that I'm gay and once I did last night, he started telling me that i'm not, like he knew exactly what gender and who I liked. I tried talking to him today and he wouldn't even let me bring up the subject. I know he isn't an anti-gay person because he has a few gay friends. I don't know what to do and I am starting to get really depressed. Please Help
Don't get depressed because he hasn't instantly accepted you. You've had a year and a half to prepare for that conversation, he had the time it took you to say the words. Give him time and space and be prepared to answer any questions he may have.
I guess your right but he asked me many times before like he expected it and once i told him he withdrew from me, we were open about everything (except my sexuality) before. And now he will only talk to me when he is telling me to do something, like to take out the trash or clean my room.
BUT, you only told him a day ago. Having suspicions and having them confirmed are very different things. It takes time. You have to be patient with him and I'm sure he'll come around.
Thanks, Robert i know i have to give him time but it is killing me just waiting, i know he will come around eventually, and talking it through is calming me down.
For the time being, just be you. Talk about what you would talk about if he didn't know your sexuality. Show him that you're exactly the same person you were before you told him.
I think that sometimes our own perspective can get in the way. We live constantly with the ideas and thoughts that go along with being gay. It is who we are. I don't think that straight people think about it the way we do. Like some of the other replies have said, you have been preparing for this and thinking about it for a long time. Your Dad may have suspected, or it may have been a surprise to him, either way be patience, let him work through it. Like you said he does have gay friends, so he is open to the idea. I hope it works out OK. Please stay in touch and let us know.
I know that people think differently and I knew he WILL come around, its just I needed someone to tell me that to make me believe myself.
You told him, you did what you could. He probably doesn't understand, really I know this makes no sense to you but it is probably what makes him think this way. To people who are heterosexual they often think that there is something wrong with those of us that are not hetero. It isn't their fault it just isn't something they think about. Us non heterosexual people have thought long and hard about why we are not straight we typically come to the conclusion that that it isn't an issue of how but it must simply be accepted. Your dad never went through that, so its starting right now. He wants to know why you are gay, what did he do to make you gay, how did he fail you. Much worse because I didn't raise my boy to be straight he will never have a beautiful wife or woman which is what makes me happy, so he will never have happiness, its all my fault, I am a terrible dad. He can't know that it wasn't his fault because he isn't gay, he doesn't get it. You have to explain that to him, it comes from deep within you, probably something you figured out very early in your life. I would say you told him, he knows and sooner or later he will accept it. He may ask you "are you really gay" because the idea has been implanted don't wig
My dads doing the same thing :rolle:but he prefers to joke about it as if I'm misguided and got the wrong idea in my head. :dry:Well the up side is that he hasn't kicked me out yet so I'm actually fine with his denial as long as he doesn't turn against me.
Sometimes people do this to gain comfort with things, humor seems to be the elixer that makes things okay. His comments may be offensive they may hurt your feelings but he is talking to you about it, that's more than I got from my dad, he asked me if I was a faggot. My mom still insists it was over some child abuse I suffered. they refuse to bring it up out allure me to bring it up. They said they still love me and always will but they do not approve of my sexuality. It hurts sometimes but it could be wise
