1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Should I come out to homophobic friend?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Stridenttube, Dec 22, 2012.

  1. Stridenttube

    Stridenttube Guest

    Okay I'm getting to the point where I really just want to come out and stop hiding. I want to date someday without having to hide. Plus lying to my friends makes me feel dirty. One of my best friends says some really homophobic stuff sometimes and is always asking me about girls and such.

    The thing that I can't figure out is that he has a sister who is apparently gay. Why is he some homophobic? I know people lose friends sometimes but I was hoping it wouldn't happen. I just don't want him to start a fight if he finds out (I can kick his :***: anyway), but still.
     
  2. Anthemic

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2012
    Messages:
    1,890
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    Alabama
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I would tell him. If he chooses not to be your friend because of who you are, then he wasn't your true friend in the first place.
     
  3. CharlesFP

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2012
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    limerick PA About 1 hour from Philadelphia
    that is the way i feel now i already told my close friends and they accept me so i dont care if "kinda friends" don't accept who i am
     
  4. BiErik

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2012
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Homophobia isn't phobia of you, it is his inner homo that he is afraid of. All men have it some more than others. Its the notion that accepting it in others would be accepting it in himself. Some guys really think that a simple kiss exchanged between them and another man will make them gay. See it isn't about you, but him.

    Id beware, last homophobic male friend I came out to didn't flip out or call me names, he reached over and fondled My genitals.
     
  5. MrAwkward

    MrAwkward Guest

    I'm in a similar situation as you. My friend always refers to stupid things as 'homo' and calls me gay as a joke (I'm pretty sure he doesn't actually think I am though). He's the only friend I have that plays the same video games as me and I've known him the (2nd) longest out of all my friends, so I don't want to lose him as friend. In spite of this, I think I'm going to tell him and hope for a positive outcome. Whatever you choose to do, I pray it turns out well. :slight_smile:
     
  6. Argentwing

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2012
    Messages:
    6,696
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    New England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Tell him. If he leaves you, you didn't deserve his fake friendship, and he didn't deserve your real one.
     
  7. RainbowMan

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2012
    Messages:
    618
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NYC
    Same deal - tell him. I'm still firmly in the closet myself, but I'm lucky enough to have a group of friends (at the bar that I hang out at) that are very accepting. How do I know this? The owner is gay! I figure that if they weren't accepting,. they wouldn't patronize his establishment.

    And my best friend and I frequently have conversations about LGBT equality issues (I'm 'out' as a straight ally to him).