hairy guy :(

Just remember that any long-term relationship worth developing should come from mutual feelings, and you deserve someone who appreciates all of your attributes. If it hasn't been working out so far, then those guys weren't right. Just keep swimming~

I don't know much about hair removal, but if it bothers you enough, I would guess there are a number of options for hair removal... surgery, depilatory creams... and maybe you can include your arm hair, too, for more consistency?

 

I agree with phospholipase on the first passage .. don't know much about the second though :lol: .. but really ...

If they didn't like to be with you because of (I won't say body hair) but lets say an attribute .. then be sure that even if you didn't have that one they will just break it off based on another one they don't like .. and believe me when I say that you are much better off without someone like that ...

When developing a relationship with someone there is something called "ACCEPTANCE" that people tend to have .. when you care about someone "truly" everything about him/her becomes something you like .. if I look at someone and think "oh I don't like that and I like this" then really you are looking at someone's exterior .. its a shallow look .. not a deep meaningful one .. those tend to be short and fleeting like the tide .. one moment its covering the shore quickly .. the next it slowly receding .. and eventually it goes back faster then when it came up ...

In fact .. when you care about someone enough .. even if s/he has some attribute you don't like .. with time it might even become something you like .. not in general but particular to that person ...

But there is one thing important to be noted .. you can have that feeling for someone but that someone does NOT care about you the same way (you look at him deeply but all what he sees is your shallow exterior) .. then its the same as before .. because love cannot be carried on one side of the equation .. think as if you are sitting in a boat with each one holding an oar .. if one person is pedaling either faster or slower the the other .. or even if one is pedaling while the other isn't .. the thing will not move from it place or maybe move in circles for a long time until you notice that this will not work ...

And (speaking in a shallow way :lol as for hair in general .. well .. some people like it while others don't .. so its not that big of a deal .. some people will go crazy for you and even beat you up if you trimmed one hair :lol: .. but lets say someone cares about you and he doesn't like hair .. and lets even say he couldn't get around it and he still doesn't like it .. well .. he may suggest that you remove it .. and will help you with it .. and you will accept if you care about him and what he likes .. you will try your best at it and eventually hit or miss .. regardless he will love and accept your attempt .. etc. and life goes on ...

The bottom line is .. if someone doesn't want to be with you for such a trivial thing then believe me you are much better off .. since they will pick something else even more trivial to fight over or stop seeing you for ...

 

People have already mentioned the bit about "someone should like you for who you are", but I'll try and expand.

The thing is, despite what a lot of people seem to forget, confidence is the most sexy, attractive thing a person can be. And when you're running around worrying not only about your appearance, but whether or not the other person will like your appearance, well... that's pretty far-gone from confident, isn't it?

As for hook-ups ending because of your hair, well, hook-ups aren't relationships. They're quick, sexual encounters. The only thing you have to judge someone on is their appearance. And since people are just looking for sexual gratification, they feel completely empowered to turn you down if they don't like how you look.

Contrary to that, in a real relationship, if the dude actually likes you, he'll like you for everything you are - hair included. And if he can't accept you for who you are, he's probably not pursuing, right?

 

Body hair is so beautiful. Seriously, what's wrong with this generation?

 

^^Personally I prefer my guys with fairly little body hair, but furry is no-less beautiful IMO.

Cub, just hang in there. You'll find a guy who loves your hairy self. Hell, I know there are straight guys who love hairy women with armpits, happy trail and all, which is not exactly common in this part of the world. Your ideal partner is out there.

 

If your hair is really bothering you, there are permanent solutions, such as electrylosis.



Usually I advocate being happy with what you're born with, but in a case like this where your concerns might be legitamate (some people really do have a lot of body hair), and the actual surgery to alleviate your concerns is relatively risk-free and not causing radical changes (I would rarely suggest plastic surgery for cosmetic reasons, for example, as a lot of the time the face before is just fine, and the risk that the face after will be creepy is pretty big ).

It might be expensive, but it should permanently prevent hair growth, so after a little while the dark areas of your skin (where tiny strands of hair are growing beneath the skin) should disappear. Just keep in mind that this is permanent (aside from possibly transplanting follicles, but with the current development of that area, you'd probably never get the body hair you have today back).

 

Well you sound like my perfect dream man. Try not to worry too much about it though. There are plenty of guys out there that can look past that part about you(if it is a "problem" for them) or others like myself that really like hairy guys. Any guy that doesn't like you because you have excessive body hair is not the kind of person you should want to be in a relationship with any way.

 

You could always trim with a buzzer. No need to completely shave it off.
That being said body hair is such a petty issue, so I can't really explain why these men are rejecting you for something so ridiculous. Are you sure they're not just looking for a one night stand by luring you into thinking they want something more?

 

Ok, these are my thoughts as a guy in the bear community.

I think hair all over is beautiful. Woof!

Welcome to the problem with humanity in general: superficiality. Society always changes its opinion on what is beautiful and what isn't and expects everyone to follow accordingly. Right now the hairless twink/metro-sexual look is in. However, I've gotten to a point in my life where people and society can go to hell as far as I'm concerned and I'll look the way I feel that best suits me and that's with a beard and body hair.

Now, secondly, all these guys you pick up are absolute jerks. If they get upset over something as minuscule as body hair, then they're not worth your effort to begin with. You deserve better.

If he is as nice and sweet as you say he is, he will accept you as you are.
But if the hair is really troubling you so much, you should consider waxing or using permanent solutions. But really, I'd just forget about it. There are many admirers out there in the bear community if you're not into bears.

The way I see it, the hairier, the better.

 

Seems to me if you want a long term relationship, you shouldn't start it with a one night stand or mere hook ups.
Quite honestly. if the kind of guys you're meeting are in this kind of area, then they're probably not interested in more than just a sex session anyway - and don't believe them if they say they are interested in a relationship if, as you have evidence, post sex they're no longer interested.

I won't lie to you, I'm not overly fond of hairy guys myself, but my partner is, and luckily for him, I have a fair bit all over my body, so it's not impossible to find someone to love that about you - in fact, in the gay community, I would say it's more likely to find a man who finds your hairyness sexy than it would be for a straight person to find a woman who does, but if you really feel that your hair is an issue, then perhaps you could go completely smooth, shave/wax everything and see how you feel.

I would advise caution on that one as I don't believe it would necessarily help in your long term desires for relationship, but it might help you feel a bit more confident in your sexual encounters.

At the end of the day someone should love you for you, as people have said, BUT you must understand that people find attractive what they find attractive, that is just fact.
It's such a cliche to say, and believe that someone should love you and your physical appearance means little, but the strongest relationships must have a good physical attraction.

Next time you meet someone you like, don't sleep with them until you've spent a few separate dates with them, perhaps spending a good few hours only talking to them on the phone and/or on one of the many IM'ing facilities to develop a deeper connection.
I didn't sleep with my partner for 6 weeks from our initial contact and, well, this is the best, strongest relationship I have ever had.

 

As someone who has always got comments about how hairy my arms and legs are, even back to like 8th grade, I know that self conscious feel. (*hug*)
Now though its just part of me, and I sort of think of it as one of my better assets actually. Mainly because I like the look of a guy with a more natural look, but if someone can make me smile its not going to be a deal breaker just because they aren't.

I don't think he would have a problem, though. If you click beyond the bedroom that really should be enough, enough said. If they can't get over it than that is their problem and you can do better and find someone who likes you as you are. Don't change to fit what anyone wants, just be comfortable in your own skin.

 

I know you say you want a relationship but someone who has such an issue with your body hair isn't someone you want to be with. It may not seem like it but there are people out there who'll find you attractive, despite or because of your body hair.

I would also say not to do anything about your it just to please someone else. The relationship won't work if they don't like you for you.

 

The guys that really care THAT much about your body hair are the ones who are only looking for one thing and aren't worth your time anyway. If a guy really cared about you for who you are as a person, then I'm sure he'd be willing to deal with the body hair (it could always be modified later). But you do know that there are guys out there who have fetishes with really hairy guys (but a lot of them happen to be hairy themselves). I don't know if you're into that, but that is an option as well for you. Remember, no one is everyone else's type... You just have to sift through the duds to find someone who wants you for you who are, and that doesn't always come so easily to a lot of people. Good luck

 

Personally I could care less if my man was a hairy monster or smooth twink! I love both. In your situation, I don't think people are running because of the hair. That seems like a really shallow reason to leave, and I think you'd be surprised how unshallow people are. Especially in regards to something that can be modified, eg. body hair. I suspect, though I am not sure, that these love interests of yours are running for other reasons. It's not uncommon for relationships to end after the first sexual encounter, as depressing as that is.

Don't be so down on yourself. I bet you're beautiful!

 

Well what are you looking for then? There's not much else to be said. You're perfectly fine and desirable the way you are as many of us have mentioned. You're many guys' type. You just have to come in contact with them.

And a smooth boyish ripped guy? Yuck. I'd much rather have a hairy man with some meat on his bones than a skinny hairless boy.

 

I can relate, I get a little insecure with my body hair and the hair on my head. Its sorta curly and bushy and I feel insecure when I see guys with nice straight hair.

I don't know if this helped but everyone else's comment made me feel bit better.

 

Listen.... You said you've been seeing each other for three months now. It sounds like you guys have established an emotional connection. Once that is there, it is pretty damn hard for something like body hair to be a deal breaker. Can you tell if there is mutual physical and sexual attraction?

I've always disliked body hair on any potential dates of mine, and at some point it may have been a deal breaker. But then I started dating people longer before jumping in the sack, and all of the sudden hair wasn't a big deal breaker at all, because my sexual attraction to the other person was now more emotional and not as superficial. My boyfriend of a year and a half, he is extremely hairy. But I am still very much attracted to him.

My point is, I guess, is that if you hook up and look for something more superficial, or you're giving off that sort of signal by jumping into the sack too fast, then things like rejection over something like body hair will happen. If you don't want to be rejected like that, try working on establishing that you are more serious about what you are looking for. Like maybe not fooling around or getting into sex until the both of you have a connection. This also weeds out people you wouldn't want to be with anyways. It's a more meticulous process but it's well worth it.... I hope this helps and I wish you the best

 

(*hug*)

There are plenty of fish -- or rainbow trout, in the sea. You just gotta find the right man... Plus, I don't see the problem with body hair! I like it myself. But don't feel bad about it, for real! You'll find someone when you least expect it.