I'm home from school, and there are no distractions at my parent's house. At least not until tomorrow and on Christmas. This holiday just reminds me that I have no one special to spend my time with. My siblings have their significant others, so they aren't here yet. Ive been sleeping 12-14 hours a night, and even took a 2 hour nap yesterday to pass the time. I've already made comments to my mom about not having anyone, and she made an equally bs comment in return. I don't know how she doesn't see the I have never had a real gf and I'm complaining of being lonely. Part of me is trying to show her that if I stay in the closet, I will feel this lonely for the rest of my life. I'm trying to show her that gay relationships aren't "illegitimate" and "wrong", and are simply the same as hetero relationships. They fulfill the same voids that hetero relationships fill. I think I'm going to lay back down already, and I just got out of bed a hour ago. Le'sad face
You know what's just as bad as loneliness? Being with someone and WISHING you were alone. Yeah, the holiday season is all about being with loved ones, but that doesn't mean specifically a significant other. As much as I love my gf, I have a battle with myself almost daily about whether or not to break up with her. Relationships always look golden when you're not in one, and loneliness is amplified if you have little or no contact with friends at all. You might consider coming out to her. At least at that point you can pursue a relationship instead of stewing in loneliness, no matter her opinion of your preference. (*hug*)
