So I'm kind of new here, but I figure it can't hurt to see if anyone here is like me. I'm a 20 year old gay, single male living in Georgia. Some days I will wake up and feel completely happy that I am single. I live in a small town, and I simply have to come to terms with my current situation because meeting someone here is not likely to happen. I know quite a few gay guys around here, but none of them are even remotely my type. So there's not much I can really do about that. Other days I will feel extremely lonely and will go into a depressed state where even when I'm with friends, I still feel lonely. I wake up most days with absolutely no hope that I will ever meet anyone worth while. I'm a science major in college, so I try to keep my logic intact when I start feeling this way, but it gets to the point where it doesn't matter how many times I tell myself I don't need anyone, I still find myself wanting something real so badly. I often times resort to excessive drinking when I get this way, because the feeling is so uncomfortable that I feel like if I don't drink, I will literally go crazy. I don't really know what's wrong with me, but I hope it will pass soon. Does anyone here even have hope that real relationship is possible in the gay community? It seems like the general consensus of the gay community is that the majority of them are duplicitous liars and cheaters. I know the good gays are out there, but I don't think they're anywhere near me. Hope everyone's holidays are going well,
Your problem's a simple one: You do need (well, I'd say, reallllllly want) someone. You're lonely, you feel isolated. That's normal human behavior, we're social animals. Yet you deny this to yourself. There's nothing wrong with solitude, but you obivously want someone to spend time with sometimes, so why deny those feelings? I realize you don't know anyone that's compatible with you, but there's a simple solution to that: either look around your town more, or consider moving somewhere likely to have more of a selection, such as a big city near you. The solution is clear: start looking for someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with, don't sit at home wanting someone, but thinking you don't want that
Of course you can be gay and have a real monogamous relationship. There are plenty of guys out there that desire that. You just have to actively go out looking and put yourself out there a bit. Have you tried legit dating sites(not "hookup" apps)? They usually have a more relationship-oriented crowd and can put you in contact with people a little bit farther out of your immediate area.
(*hug*) Even at my age (hint: too young for a job) I find monogamous gay relationships at school. It's harder to find, but there are a lot of people looking for dedicated relationships! Oh, and I live in Georgia, too. Hi there... :3 :smilewave
Of course it's possible. I would love to be in a relationship with one guy and one guy only. Like anyone, you just have to find the right person. Cheating goes on among straight or gay people. Be patient and you'll surely find someone that loves you and wouldn't dream of being unfaithful.
I don't think it's strictly the gay community that cheats. It happens everywhere, with everyone. You will find someone, but you have to look. You can't wait for them to find you. Good luck!
I can relate to this wholeheartedly, down to the "I'm in the sciences so I try my hardest to think logically". The difference is that I don't actually know any gay people in my area, so I haven't really tried looking, just excessive desire for a relationship. You say you're a science major - have you looked to your school to see if they have a LGBT group or something?
I experience those different phases of thoughts as well. At times, I just think to myself, "YEAH. I'm going to live single my whole life! Only got to support myself! Whoo!" Then some other moment, I'll think, "Oh my gosh, I'm not sure I can live alone my whole life. I'm so done. Dead. I need to find somebody." While the latter feeling does not occur as much, it does happen, and it hurts a lot. However, I'm successful in convincing myself that it is just my mood at the moment and I'll feel better later, which I do. Eventually, I'll want to find somebody. I'm not sure when, or if I'll ever be successful, but I'm not going to ACTIVELY look for somebody. When I have actively put myself out there with intentions of meeting new people and getting to know them, just casually, I am usually unsuccessful and make things worse. Some of the greatest, new friendships/companionships I have formed were completely unplanned and just occurred naturally. I didn't walk into a room and think "Okay, I'm going to walk in and say this, and then say this." I act more "freely" now and go with the flow. But basically, in my experience, the greatest scenarios have occurred on the spot. This is why I'm not going to actively look for a partner and have a game plan and whatnot. Maybe you have the same experiences, and perhaps this may work. Obviously, we have to try new things and put ourselves out there a bit, but I refuse to make it a one-sided battle where I am the one making all of the calls. Things are best when they occur naturally. With that said, I still have a rather low sense of hope in my future regarding a relationship, and I blame society's selfishness, naive ideals, and ignorance. It makes something that should come naturally multiple times more difficult to occur. However, I can't do much about it, so I must simply be patient and take advantage of any luck that comes my way. Whether you can relate to this or not, I hope I have helped in some way. Good luck to all of us.
