I have no idea where to start....I'd like some perspective on what I'm feeling right now. I just don't get it, thinking maybe I've gone crazy or something. When I first came out to my therapist, a week ago now, I felt relived and OK. I had told someone. Now I have complete doubts that I did the right thing. What's said can't be unsaid, and I've been experiencing an emotional roller coaster. Today, for example, I feel really depressed. I haven't even gotten the energy to leave my apartment, eat, or do anything. Other days I feel like myself, and generally if I can find something to do, I feel OK. Will this roller coaster ride ever come to an end? I'd like to be my normal, happy, well-adjusted self again sometime, and have someone in my life. I think I'm also feeling apprehension about finally coming to terms with who I am, and wondering if I'll ever meet somebody. I'm rambling at this point
You probably feel a bit scared and vulnerable since now someone knows your "secret" and it is a bit more official in the fact that you are actually a gay man. And yes, you will find someone if you put in the effort and actively seek someone. A nice guy won't fall into your lap if you're sitting around in your house and doing nothing.
Aww, yeah... Like Lance said, you are probably just experiencing a lot of anxiety because you have officially said it to someone. But it is a step in the right direction for sure!! The faster you can come to terms with who you truly are and the faster you can begin loving yourself, the better off you'll be when it comes time to meet someone. Plus, the more "out" you become, the better connected you will be to other gays and it will only be a matter of time before that right person comes along!
