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Looking for advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by marcos220000, Dec 25, 2012.

  1. marcos220000

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Hi everyone,

    I'm a 23 year old gay student who's trying to overcome obstacles, and is looking for feedback from other gay people.

    Accepting my sexuality has been a long journey. Right now, I'm ok with being gay and some of my family know. They're not thrilled, but they're ok with it.

    But I feel some aspects need to improve.

    I'm a really shy, introvert and quiet person. I worry a lot that people I interact with could find out about my sexuality. I don't talk too much, and I'm generally nervous around people of my age (in college). I think if I expose myself too much, they'll eventually know.
    For that reason, I have no friends. The fact I live in a generally homophobic society doesn't help. Neither the fact I was bullied a lot in highschool.

    How do you guys manage to not let the fact you're gay interfere when it comes to socializing?

    Is it that you don't think about it or that you simply don't mind if people find out?

    When you're talking with someone, don't you ask yourself what that person's position about the subject (homosexuallity) is? What if they're homophobes?

    Help/advice would be highly appreciated, and please excuse my english.
    Thanks.
     
  2. RainbowMan

    Full Member

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    I might not be the best person to help here, but I'll try.

    Being gay is but a small part of who you are. An important part, to be sure, but a small one. If people can't accept it, that's their problem and not yours. Your friends should take the complete package, gay and all. I'm a pretty big introvert as well, but I have a few close friends.

    I'm not out (geez, I wish I was in your position at 23!), and I find socializing fairly easy actually. Sure, sometimes things slip, but generally people will think that you're joking or whatever (in my experience). Then again, I live in a huge city that's very accepting of it's gay population.

    In the end, be yourself, and I wouldn't necessarily advertise the fact that you're gay, but you can tell (generally) if people will be accepting and then come out to them in your own way
     
  3. JohnJuan

    Regular Member

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    I went to a catholic high school. The teachers, staff, and most of the students were openly hostile to the concept of homosexuality. I learned very quickly how to socialize while keeping myself cloaked in invisibility. As time has passed and I have come to accept myself as gay I have become less comfortable with keeping that part of myself invisible.

    I think if someone were to find out (or ask me directly) I am to the point that I could say yes and be OK with them knowing.

    As far as homophobes go, they certainly are out there, and if they let something like my being gay come between us, then that is their loss.

    I don't know if I really addressed your questions or not. I hope this helps some.