Hey all! I'm in South Dakota for a white Christmas with my sister, and I dropped by her place last night because I wanted to spend the night. (I figured she'd need some consoling because her husband is outta town for work and her baby's a premmie so he needs to stay in the hospital and I didn't want her to be alone.) Just some personal background... I am currently experiencing heartbreak because the woman I loved turned me down, and even though we're still friends I've been kinda avoiding her, so I've been an emotional wreck to say the least... Anyway, my sister doesn't know about that, and I've attributed my mood swings to being on my period. Last night, though, we were talking about "secret shames," and my sister was talking about pedaphillia and beastiality and murderers and homosexuality. She was saying that if you want to commit a murder that doesn't make you a murderer or if you want to have sex with the same sex you aren't gay. She also said that people who do not act on their urges should not be labeled as if they did. On top of that, she seemed like she was hinting that she thought I had homosexual tendencies. She did say that those who don't act on their thoughts are honorable because we all have our secret shames... Also though that those with these thoughts should marry the opposite sex or stay chaste or not go to her church. She said they wouldn't have as satisfying a sex life if married, but it'd still be somewhat satisfying. At one point I said "You keep mentioning pedaphillia. Are you hinting something about me?" [haha] and she said "I've also been hinting other things..." and I said "I suppose you have... hmmm... What are you trying to say...?" Anyway, I felt like during the discussion she was trying to get me to fess up, but she also says "when you meet the right guy" so and so etc. Am I just making this seem suspicious? Sometimes I wonder if people know, even if they don't...
So...she's saying homosexuality is acceptable only if you don't act on your urges? That's exactly how my grandpa feels. Honestly, the only way to know if she suspects you're gay is to ask her. But, she probably does based on what you said. However, it sounds like she wouldn't take it very well if you came out to her, so I would suggest not saying anything. In my experience, some members of my family definitely suspect and are constantly hinting (my mom and grandma), while others are either oblivious or in denial. My mom has been hinting at it for over a year. She asked me a year ago if my roommate and I were together. I insisted that we weren't, but we actually were. When my roommate and I broke up and she moved out my mom said that breakups are always hard. I've never actually told her, but she continues to hint that I'm gay. I had a conversation in the car with my brother the other day where he was telling me that he has good gaydar. He told me that he knew that my friend that just came out as lesbian was gay. He also listed many of my other friends that are gay and insisted that he predicted all of them were gay. However, when I asked him about me he said "Naw, you're not gay." I burst out laughing and laughed for several minutes. I basically came out to him and he still doesn't think I'm gay. lol.
Yeah my grandma will hint alot. I'm 90% sure she knows, and my aunt will say things like "When you meet the right gu- er- person..." I don't think those two would care, and my grandma wouldnt be judgmental at all. My grandpa hints too, like when I told him I was housesitting for a friend he said "They know you wont invite boys over..." and I just laughed and said "Yes they know me so well." My parents knew before I told them, especially my mom. It sounds like your mom would be understanding if you told her. Thats funny about your brother though :lol: I don't think I should come out to her either. She wouldnt want to hear that, and may preach at me, even if she would try to be understanding.
Some people are really good at just knowing if someone else is gay. Some people can tell before the person in question even knows. I worry sometimes about that because I hate being on the spot. Anyway, maybe it would be easier for you to come out more if people already suspect it?
I was thinking about coming out to my grandma and aunt, but the timing never seems right. I don't think I should tell my sister though lol
They're really good at keeping secrets. My grandpa might find out, but he's good at keeping secrets too, so I don't worry very much about them knowing.
