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Crazy for this one guy... help please!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dreaminbout1guy, Dec 28, 2012.

  1. dreaminbout1guy

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    Hi all. I'm new here, and I really need some advices about this guy I have completely have a crush on.

    First of all, I'm a closet bisexual. Nobody knows that I'm a Bi.

    I stay as a closet Bi for many reasons, but lets not talk about that.

    Well, I really need some help about this guy who I have been crazy about lately. I think he is probably a closet gay too, but I'm not exactly sure. This is my story, and I'll try to keep this short as possible cuz I can write a lot. I need help on these signs to figure out if he is gay or not or if he likes me or something.

    How we both met:
    So it started on a day at my high school where we were having a club rush day and that was when I first met him. He came at my friend's club table and we greeted each other cuz he signed up for my friend's club. He went around looking at other clubs and then eventually came back to my friend's club table (cuz I was helping her and promoting the club) and then he asked if he could sit on our table. I told him that its fine. He was sitting on the table looking at the other way and as he was turning towards my way (or looking at me I think), he quickly turn back the other way.

    I was thinking to myself, why would the guy come back to our club table and sit there when he can go anywhere else and sit down... but yeah.

    His Stares:
    That was how we met, so within half of the school year so far, we have been staring at each other pretty much. I have no classes with him at all, but my locker this year is very close to his and we would have classes (classrooms) near each other. Everytime I walk somewhere in the school and when I see him, I'll just notice him staring at me for no reason. I would look at him for a sec and then I'll quickly turn away. I just want to keep looking at him, but I get shy and turn away, and its awkward at the same time too. I've notice him staring at me more than once around the whole school... whenever I'm at my locker, whenever I'm talking with my friends, or whenever I'm walking to my classroom nearby his. I'm sure he knows that I've stared at him and I know for sure that he does stared at me. This one time, I was just looking behind him, waiting for the person in front of me to be done with their locker and then he looks suddenly turns his head looking to the left and then turn his head back and looked at me. I quickly turned away again cuz I felt awkward.

    When he stares at me, I get these vibes from him, but I can't be too sure. He can just be those people who likes to listen to people's conversation right?

    One bad thing I've done is that I've stalked him a little bit. Its bad to do it, but I did it cuz I like him. :bang: Well whenever I see him, he usually walks alone, he is quite shy and he doesn't talk to people as much, though many do greet him and all. He just keep still and quiet, so I honestly don't know what he is like whenever I see him.

    What do you guys make up of my crush? Could he be a closet gay/bi too? Or am I just thinking too much? I mean, I want to go out with him so bad, but I honestly don't know how to approach him too. I can't decide and I don't know how he is. What should I do next if he is one?
     
  2. ForceAndVerve

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    Firstly, welcome to EC! :grin:

    Right now I tihnk it's 50/50, anything is possible.

    If you want to get to know him, use his staring as a starting point. Don't look away when you notice him staring at you. Stare back and if your confident enough maybe smile/wave at him. See how he responds. If he smiles/waves back at you, GREAT! Move in and just say hi to him. Ask him how's he doing etc. Keep it casual and light and go from there.

    If he doesn't respond, then you may have the dreaded "straight guy that drives me crazy by staring at me for no reason" problem that has been cropping up and you may wish to concider being more direct by just walking up to him and asking him why he's always looking at you. In a non aggressive way of course. He could just be really really shy.
     
    #2 ForceAndVerve, Dec 28, 2012
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2012
  3. Of Mice and Men

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    I wouldn't jump to conclusions. My experience is that most people tend to make mountains out of molehills when it comes to people they're interested in. The only way you're going to be able to know for sure if he likes you/is gay or bisexual is if you develop a friendship with him.
     
  4. dreaminbout1guy

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    @ ForceAndVerve

    Thank you for the welcome! :grin:

    I will definitely try that next time. I will hold my courage and say hi to him whenever he looks at me. I will try to not be nervous/shy no more. I will try what you've said. Thank you very much!

    @ Of Mice and Men

    That is so true. Well, I honestly can't think of what to do next and I keep on thinking too much about him. Okay, I won't jump into conclusions and keep seeing him and how he does. I will try to develop a friendship with him hopefully very soon.

    Thank you very much for replying too! :grin:

    ---------- Post added 30th Dec 2012 at 07:31 PM ----------

    Let me see... There was another time when he completely stared at me from far away.

    Now my school is has outside classrooms too. I was having my math class outside. One of his class is close to my math class.

    So one day I came out of my math class after the bell ring waiting for my friend to go to the next class, I saw him walking to his next class with a friend. From far away, he turned his head looking at me. Like I've noticed him big time that he was looking directly at me. I was so shy at that moment again, I just looked down to the ground and then I look back up again and he was still staring at me while walking. Until my friend girl got out of the class, I just didn't look back at him and then we walked to our next class.

    God, I'm so stupid. I felt that was the perfect chance to wave at him, but I didn't. I feel so dumb. :frowning2:
     
  5. 4AllEternity

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    The staring is probably not him crushing on you, but it could be a sign of interest/curiousity. Before I actually met my last (and first serious) crush, I had actually seen him around in my classes the year prior. At that point I would not have described the guy as my "type", but for some reason he just kept capturing my interest. I'd do exactly what your crush is doing, repeatedly glance at him. I still can't explain why (based on my mindset at the time), but for some reason he was just interesting to me. The thing is, I didn't actually really feel anything for him until I actually met him and got to know him, so if you want to both figure out if he's bi/gay, and see if a relationship will bloom, talk to him. Introduce yourself. Don't let this slip away from you, for if it turns out the way you hope, you'll be so happy :slight_smile:
     
  6. dreaminbout1guy

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    Sorry for the late reply, but thank you very 4AllEternity. That's a big help on my issue. Well, the guy stares at me too often now. I don't know if he wants to become friends or likes me. But okay, I'll try my best to go and talk to him. That's sad that it didn't go the way you wanted. Well its nice to know that somebody is going through my situation.

    I'm just hoping very much that he is a bi/gay person too cuz I really don't want to miss him out. I want to be with him already.