Hey, I'm sure there are plenty of ppl out there that will relate to my story.... Yet I need to know how to overcome it...... So when I was 15 I had my first real Gf, my friends all knew but I hid it from my extremely suspecting (yet completely obviously disgusted parents!) I was in love an didn't care but still couldn't bring myself to admit my sexuality to them. When I was 18 I had moved in with a new Gf however she was violent an soon I began to resent her and women, when I escaped from that relationship I found myself wanting the comfort and protection of a man, plus I'd still not mustered the courage to come out to my judgemental family ..... Cue my husband.... I made a life with him for 8yrs and had 2 beautiful children, he's still my best friend now and whilst he knows about my past and has even stated he would be happy for me regardless of who I have as a partner, I can't bring myself to admit I have a GF now. My parents I finally admitted 2yrs ago that I'd always been more for woman yet after showing their disapproval it has barely been mentioned since, except when I talk of my best friend whose life pretty much mirrors mine, they continuously say how wrong it is and unfair on the children this makes me feel really uncomfortable with myself and I find that I even push away my partner, who is very comfortable with her sexuality an can't comprehend why I can't just tell the world about her! How can I stop myself from feeling like I'm disgusting and unfair to my children. I also worry what my ex-husbands family will think, whilst I'm sure they have an idea I almost want to keep my 2 lives separate..... Wtf shall I do?!?
Hey Scarla! I know you might won't take me seriously since I'm sixteen years old but I can kind of relate to your story. I hated myself at first for being different. I usually asked myself why it has to be me who is different from others and who always was different from all the examples my family gave me of "perfect children". I realized that I have to love myself and accept myself the way I am to be able to move on with my life. I've been thinking about my sexuality way too often. I had to realize that being unique is beautiful and being different from others is not bad at all. You have to simply love yourself. Accept yourself. Try not to overthink about what others say or think, because this is your life, your decisions and your rules. It may be hard at first, but having people like your girlfriend, I believe you will get all the support you will need. Talk with her about your current feelings and your confusion, it could help you to move from that point. I wish you all the luck in the world And remember that being not okay is okay! (*hug*)
Right pulse thank you so much..... Honestly age is just a number an I don't discriminate against anybody (other than myself ironically!lol) but u know u are right, u speak wise words..... an I'd so love to not care, I guess I lived so much of my life to please others and convincing myself that being with a woman is wrong I've got to completely retrain my thoughts It doesn't help that my family an I are extremely close yet this creates a major wedge, it's why I've turned to you guys really as its nice to know I'm not alone. You'd think my gf would understand but she doesn't appear to an takes it more personally that I'm not comfortable in my "own skin" she has at times even tried to push me into telling my family an ex about her which has caused us a few arguments because I'm not ready yet but she sees it as me being embarrassed
Of mice and men, yes we have been separated 3yrs now, not divorced because if there is no real grounds i.e. adultery, then you have to wait 2yrs, that time has passed but financially we aren't in a position to and there's no great rush because neither of us are at a point where we want to re-marry yet. I am dating a woman it's only been 3months but things have seemed to gone extremely quick.
Oh okay, I just needed clarification. Well, I think that you should be open about who you are with your family. You say that your husband is your best friend, and if you two are separated now I think he would be very supportive of you, considering he knows that you've dated women before. It seems to me that you would be a lot happier and less distressed if you were honest and let the world see you and your girlfriend. If you don't feel comfortable with introducing her to your children just yet, you should start with your husband. Then you can start telling others. But definitely start with your husband, he deserves to know and if he's comfortable with who you are than I think he would be happy to know.
U are so right in what you say the only thing is that ....My kids have met her as "my friend" an they love her to bits, but me an my ex had this agreement that to wait a yr before either of us introduced each other to new partners or the kids knew they were more than just friends, purely because after that time it proves it could be serious an not just a whirlwind romance. My parents know about my sexuality but not about her, although my sisters both do and have met her, I think I'm worrying it'll create more of a problem between me an my folks plus I guess my biggest issue is more related to rejecting myself bcoz of who I am. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me, it really means a lot as I don't know who I can talk to about it all really without upsetting or offending someone xxx
