Okay. To start, I am a 20 y/o male living with a 47 y/0 man. We dated a couple months and he asked me to move in due to asthma/dander/mold issue, also we wanted to spend more time together. Multiple reasons really. But from the beginning he had some ex's who he still talked to. Friends. He's recently out and the couple people he met coming out he kind of stuck close to. Anyway, jump forward a month and one guy who had dated a couple times moves in, rents the room down stairs. Hey it made sense and I didn't really have a problem, and don't. I mean I'm basically with my boyfriend 24/7 lol. I'm basically positive he wouldn't cheat on me. (For deep personal reasons, his ex wife killed herself after cheating on him :/ ) but. I just don't understand why he makes new dialougueswith guys that fucked him over or vise versa. Like on Christmas eve, I went to bed early so he would come to bed. But I came out after like 20 minutes and was sending a paragraph to the guy he dumped. So I was like really upset. He said he was just wishing him a merry christmas. But he always deletes his texts and stuff. So it's not like I read it. But eh. Idk. I mean he wouldn't be doing anything behind my back, right? I'm a very trusting person sometimes.... I just, don't know what to do sometimes. But I love him, and I trust him for the most part. ---------- Post added 28th Dec 2012 at 10:11 AM ---------- I mean is it wrong of me to ask him NOT to talk to these people.... at all?
Well if your spending that much time with him, I doubt he even has the chance to cheat, even if he wanted to. But that's not the point. I think you should trust him. I mean talking to ex'es isn't really that big a deal In my opinion. I think unless his behaviour changes/he starts being more secretive or spending less time with you, then you should start to think about it.
Welcome to EC! Yes. It sounds like you simply don't trust this guy. You don't trust him not to cheat - you're working on being with him 24/7, and watching his every move, so he CAN'T cheat. That's not trust - that's keeping somebody on lockdown. It may be that this guy IS untrustworthy. But if he is, you keeping a careful eye on him won't change that. To put it simply, I think you'll have to either learn to start trusting him, or resign yourself to always being suspicious. And I don't think in either case, telling him never to talk to his ex's will help your case. Lex
Maybe I made it sound like it was a possibility, but I'm pretty sure it's not. ---------- Post added 28th Dec 2012 at 04:20 PM ---------- Thanks! You know you're right. I love him so much. I have OCD... which I failed to mention. OCD Depression and Anxiety. I just... idk, I get obsessive I guess yeah. I'm trying to work on it and not jump to conclusions and learn to trust him completely. Thank you. I'm pretty sure he IS worth trusting. ---------- Post added 28th Dec 2012 at 04:22 PM ---------- Qft. Thanks.
I agree with this. My boyfriend is still very close with his ex, he's even slept over at his place a couple of times (though in different rooms). I couldn't care less. I trust him, and know he wouldn't cheat on me. I know it's probably hard to just let go, but if you don't, it may backfire. I can imagine living with someone who doesn't trust you and is constantly checking up on you must be very frustrating.
I guess I over exaggerated a little. Thank you guys. I told him I trust him, and I do. I just wanted an opinion, that's all. Thanks.
