I heard about this website from a kid in my class I actually overheard him talking about it. But I've been confused on what I want since 10th grade and I am not in 12th grade about to head to college. Only one friend of mine knows I like both guys and guys. But he said "it's just a phase" I believe so too. But what's crazy is that I've been dating this guy I like (I have no sexual attraction to him, I like him for him and nothing more) he has always been there for me even though I have broken up with him multiple times but I told him what I was thinking, one moment I'll like men, date them and all, and then later on I feel disgusted by my actions and thoughts and then leave the guy, but then go to women and then the same thing happens there I go back to men, but since the guy understands what I'm going through he is always there, I feel like I don't know where I belong. To make matters worse my mom suspects I'm gay. It happened when she saw a text I got from a guy and she got mad at me. And started telling me things like "I should've aborted you, I don't want a gay faggot son" as you might think everytime I talk about this story I start crying (like right now) but she compares me to my brothers my oldest and younger brother because they do football and sports and workout and hit on every girl and have sex with every girl my mom treats me like crap. Both of my parents don't appreciate what I do. I do theatre I sing and dance I act, I play instruments I at least do swim, I am a creative person but my parents are never happy. Especially when I won a acting award for a UIL one act play for best acting (if you know what UIL is you understand) but even then they didn't care. I work hard to different myself from my brothers but I'm not good. I need help on my sexuality what does this mean of what I'm feeling and how can I gain approval of my family. ( I'm not going to come out to my family ANY time soon)
My family have told me that they cant and wont accept my attraction to girls. Its hard. Its not going to be easy. You have to mature faster than kids your age in order to cope. Its hard not to get angry or bitter at them. My parents havent kicked me out but they treat my sexuality like its some disease and that really hurts. Do you have somewhere you can go and be accepted? Like maybe a friends house for awhile so that you can deal with this? Get support. Its the most important thing.
wow...a mother who says she would kill her kid ...abort the little baby bundle of joy..cuz she don't want no faggot. She don't own you. she's a moron. nobody could abort in her era...but haters shouldn't be alive either...
Hi Leo It breaks my heart when I read posts like yours. I don't think parents know how much their words and statements can hurt their kids and often they say things in the heat of the moment that they really don't mean. Realise that your parents, like everyone walking this planet are flawed, we all have flaws, that's what makes us who and what we are... If we where all perfect we would all be the same and that would make life pretty boring. It's quite obvious that your parents are not in a position to deal with your sexuality and I think you are wise not to come out to them right now, besides, you have your whole life ahead of you to do that, there really is no rush for it. Your focus should be on finishing school and if you are able to go to college, go and further your studies into a career that you love and that will enable you to earn a living in your adult life. Your education is your security and the only thing that you will be able to fall back on, so right now that should be your main priority. I know that it's terribly hard when you feel like you have to constantly prove yourself worthy, it's hard when you long for your parents approval in what you do and don't get it... But here's the thing, if you love what you do and if you feel that your reaching your goals than that affirms that YOU approve of what you are doing and really, in the end it's YOUR life, no body else's and the only thing that matters is whether you approve and value what you do... Stay true to yourself for within that lies your self confidence and ultimately your own happiness. If you do that you will succeed and be successful in you life and trust me, many people will appreciate and approve of that, even your family. As for your sexuality, don't stress too much about it right now. You are still very young and there is no need for you to put yourself into a little box and stick a label onto it. You will grow into what you will naturally grow into and when that happens the trick is to learn and accept and love yourself. For now, go with the flow and don't try to over think things. It's ok to fall in love with a guy, and its ok to fall in love with a girl, you're not label so don't worry too much about it right now. Somewhere down the line you will meet someone amazing, fall in love, settle down and be what ever you are, no need to decide on it right now.
Bispaniard17, I'm so sorry that your mother told you that she would have aborted you. She doesn't mean that. She's just scared right now. It looks like you live in Texas. If I were you, I would just not tell anyone that you're gay until you're a little older. It's none of their DAMN business anyway. I'm just coming to terms that I'm gay. If you had asked me a month ago, I would have said "I'm totally not gay" and it would have been the truth (from my perspective). But, I've been lying to myself subconsciously. Here are the data: I've never felt aroused by women. I have recurring wet dreams involving men. I get-off to pictures of guys without shirts on. Let's face the music, I'M GAY. For so long I was just focused on high school, then college, then grad school, then finding a job. Now I have a job and I can't ignore it anymore. Just take your time. I haven't told my family yet, so I don't know what to tell you on that. But they are totally anti-gay. There was this one ice cream store in my town that we used to go to. A gay guy started working there, and my dad called it "Fag-ified Ice Cream" and wouldn't go there anymore. So we didn't. Mom has told me that "It's not OK to be gay." Probably she thinks I'm gay. Everyone thinks it. But it's none of their DAMN business. Mom and dad both never overlook an instance to gay-bash. So, I don't know what help that will be, but just know that you aren't alone in your struggles with intolerant families. See if you can find someone you are attracted to (guy or girl) who is a beautiful person on the inside. Then, maybe you'll know what to do. Best. ~Captain VonTrapped
Man, I'm so sorry things are so difficult at home. You are clearly an amazing, talented, and very cool guy -- and that's particularly great given how much you've had to do on your own initiative without your parents support. If you can find a support group now, that would be great -- I googled and found these -- don't know anything about them, maybe they're close to you... Youth First Texas ยป About Us www.tclga.org I know it doesn't make the pain better about your mother's hurtful words -- keep your focus on your goal of getting to college - where you'll have the chance for more independence. Keep doing all the great things that make you unique and that you enjoy - swimming, being creative, music, theatre, dance. Keep posting.
