I don't have anything against being gay, it's just I know my family wouldn't accept it. I'm not attracted to guys in school, or in public. To be honest, I've had 4 girlfriends and one relationship was pretty serious... I've been single for almost a year and five months and I'm not if it's just because It's been such a long time. I used to get called gay all the time at school (and still do) I don't act gay, I'm just outgoing and very nice. I am not trying to sound stuck up, but i'm very popular and i'm pretty well-liked, it's just so much the football team that tends to make fun of me. I have a job, and my best friends consist of mostly girls and 3 or 4 guys... I don't have attraction to absolutely anyone in public, it's just when watching porn that I find guys attractive. I keep telling myself I'm probably Bi and that's not a bad thing, neither is being gay, but I just know, in my community it's not accepted. I've never fantasized over a guy before, but many times over a girl. I am actually in the process of about to ask this girl out, she's really cute and she's just my type. I just don't understand why i'm attracted to the "sex" appeal of gay guys. Like i've gone far with girls, but not sex, and I enjoy it a lot. I've never touched a guy before or anything like that, except one time my best friend got really pissed at me and we started physically fighting. and long story short his shirt got ripped off and so did mine and our skin touched and idk it was just very arousing. I have no idea what to make of this. I feel like i'm Bi, because like I have no interest in a relationship or marriage with another man. I'm just not sure what to think and I feel like my work, (job and school) is getting affected by this. Any replies would be amazing. Thanks everyone for your support. (!)(!)
Well it sounds like you might be bi-curious but what is it exactly that you feel when you see a guy? because it could also be admiration of the male body which doesn't mean you're gay or bi but just intrigued.
I was worried when I first got that feeling of "I'm not romantically attracted to boys, just sexually" or "wow this gay porn is pretty hot". My advice to you would be to stop worrying about it and let things play out. Sexuality isn't just 3 leves, straight, gay and bi, and I don't believe it's even as simple as the Kinsey scale (which you may want to look at). Explore your sexuality and you may just find out a lot about yourself, I sure did!
Hi Matt Don't stress mr, what you are going trough is pretty normal for all guys, whether they are straight, bi or gay, especially while going trough puberty. You don't say how old you are but I'm pretty sure you are in your mid teens somewhere, and reading trough your post you come across as a normal straight guy going trough the standard roller coaster ride of developing from boyhood into manhood. Right now your body is getting a good dose of testosterone in a seemingly unlimited and uncontrollable supply. Your body needs this flood of hormones to make the transition from boy to man. It's these hormones that triggers the growth of body hair, muscle growth, lowering your voice etc. but they also come with a pretty nifty side effect that triggers sexual arousal. That's why when boys go trough puberty they tend to get an erection for just about anything, hell the wind just have to blow trough your hair in a funny way and suddenly there's some action down in your pants. So in general, going trough puberty means going trough a time period in your life where anything and everything seems to turn you on and and in our day and age where we have free access to all sort of media, including porn it can cause a lot of confusion. I'd bet you a hundred bucks that you get horny when you watch straight porn, but your confusion seems to be the fact that you are getting horny watching gay porn too... Here's a little secret... If you showed the gay porn to any guy going trough puberty they will all get horny, it's perfectly normal and due to the fact that they have an over supply of testosterone which their bodies haven't learned to fully control yet. When you hit your late teens and early twenties your body gets to a stage where it figured out how to control the supply and demand of testosterone and as you age your the supply level stabilises and so does your libido and sexual urges. When it comes to your little episode with your friend... Not many people know this but the biggest sexual organ you have happens to be your skin... Which turns out to be the biggest organ of all organs in our bodies. Our skins are programmed to feel sensation and obviously responds to touch. In fact the most sensual part of having sex is the act of touching each other, your body is pre-programmed to react to that touch and it's that touch that puts all the wheels in motion, tells your brain to release some testosterone that turns you on and prepares your body for sex. Now here's the interesting part, our skins are pretty stupid in the sense that they respond the same way irrespective of who is doing the touching. Your skin doesn't distinguish between sex, it responds to touch and its programmed to send the same signals to your brain irrespective if its a guy or a girl doing the touching. So that it was a turn on for you is a pretty normal reaction... Normally your brain will intervene and tell you, dude, no this is not a person that you're attracted to, but during puberty and the oversupply of hormones that your brain is still learning to deal with that judgement gets a little clouded and it can be a little confusing at times. As you grow older your brain will have figured out how to control and react to the different stimuli and it will not be an issue for you any more. So, my advice to you is to stop stressing about your sexuality and to enjoy this magical period of your life. Things will settle with time and you will know exactly who and what you are much sooner than you think! D
Hi, Matt, and welcome to EC. First, whether you're gay, bi, straight, or somewhere on the spectrum, it's who you are, and not something you can influence or change, so as others have said, just relax and enjoy the ride and do your best to be open to what is. I think it's pretty clear that you aren't totally straight. I'd suggest just being open. One thing I'd strongly suggest you *not* do is pick a girl and convince yourself you can eventually fall in love with her and marry her to make yourself straight. Quite a few of our members have done that and the results have caused a hell of a lot more heartache. So... relax, spend your time at EC reading, ask a bunch of questions, explore your feelings... and see where it leads
hey! if you want to ask a girl out you like, sure why not! its just a fun date with a pretty girl anyways. but don't let yourself be afraid that you may have a wee bit of gayness hiding in you. maybe everybody does? idk! but besides urges to do stuff, there is true attraction, and love. some stuff is just short term, other stuff you can build on for long term. i come from a family of conservatives, but so far so good. i would just say, try not to worry over it, that will eat you up. just figure that whatever you are you will eventually find out, and if you are a nice guy, it will all work out in the end.
Woah, you sound a wee bit homophobic with your attitude about being gay. Throwing in a lot of stereotypes, blah. Gah ! but guys are so fucking hot. I have a crush on probably every kid in my school. lol. "I used to get called gay all the time at school (and still do) I don't act gay, I'm just outgoing and very nice" Theres your problem. :eusa_naug:eusa_naug :eusa_danc And mine as well. Don't be outgoing and very nice. You get called names for it. If people are going to treat you like shit, treat them like shit. Backfire the old saying "treat people the way you want to be treated." make sure that statement effects them though, not you.
um no...dont be an asshole. we got enough... be nice, very nice, be outgoing...have fun. if you are in middle school it gets better by high school but they won't forget if you are a crude jerk.}}
