Catholic and queer: any advice?

I think my sexuality is the main reason why I do not attend church, although I do believe in God. You should most definitely find a church where you will be accepted for who you are. I can remember my friend telling me one time in church, they were discussing homosexuality. There was a lady there who asked everyone to pray for her gay daughter in hopes that she'd "Find her way." Crazy, right? I've been trying to reconcile with my faith along with being gay, but I'm having a hard time doing so.

I didn't grow up religious, but it hurts to know that people use religion as a mean to hurt others who are "different." I think a retreat sounds like a great idea; I know it's hard trying to reprogram yourself to believe that being lgbt is okay. Especially, when you've been taught otherwise growing up.

I actually became agnostic once I discovered that I was gay, but I dislike how it's jeopardizing my relationship with God. If you ever do go on that retreat, take me with you

 

A year or so ago I came across an interesting YouTube video clip with a guy making a statement concerning "Religion" and faith...

Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus || Spoken Word - YouTube

Go have a look at it, it's put things in perspective for me and made me realise that a lot of our struggles are man made and not from God.

 

I've found great peace in Matthew Vines's sermon. It's very well thought out, and extremely compelling that the Bible teaches NOTHING about loving, consensual homosexual relationships. It's simply silent on the topic.

 

I grew up Catholic but for all intensive purposes I do not practice at the moment. Not purely because of my sexuality, but more due to the institution itself and all of the corruption and deceit that has been going on for some time now. I believe in the fundamental teachings of Catholicism, but the way it is being represented and the actions of the leaders of the faith are unacceptable.

However, I do have a friend who is Catholic from an area in Illinois and her parish is wonderful and accepting, so they do exist. I would also suggest looking into lgbt-friendly churches, I know there are quite a few, particularly Episcopal. I attend a non-denominational church at the moment and the environment is fantastic. I do at times feel bad that it is not Catholic, but the way I see it, religion is extremely personal and shouldn't be so focused on the sector as much as on the personal relationship with God. Christianity is Christianity - for the most part - and if you are attending a church that makes you feel bad about yourself or that makes you feel like an outcast, it is going to have a negative effect on your relationship with God.

ETA: The Matthew Vines sermon is fantastic. I myself used to be very self-loathing and did a bunch of research on the supposed condemnation of homosexuals in Scripture and he is spot on in his words. Knowing that many of these verses people are throwing at you are misinterpreted and misdirected is crucial. It really helped me find peace regarding my sexuality and faith.

 

I know you said that being Roman Catholic is an important part of your identity, but being gay in some of the other Christian sects is much easier, so you may want to at least give it some thought. I’m not religious at all, but I’m from a Protestant culture and I’ve known a few people who are religious (most people I know aren’t). I actually can’t remember ever hearing any of them say anything anti-gay, even very religious people (this is in Northern Europe, and I know things are different elsewhere).

I now live in a more Catholic city to the south, and it’s a quite gay-friendly city overall, but I’m sad to say I’ve heard some anti-gay comments from people who are religious. I was actually a little bit shocked, because these were not old people or Muslim immigrants. It seems that the words of the Pope and other such leaders still carry weight with some Roman Catholics, and the current Pope is, I think, doing harm.

Having said all that, if I were Roman Catholic, I’d refuse to give up my culture because of the Pope. I’d contribute to and participate in organisations aiming to change the church, because change can ultimately happen. Long ago, the state churches in Northern Europe were similar, but have had to change because the people have demanded it. The difficulty for the Roman Catholic Church is that many of its adherents are in traditionalist Third World societies, where hatred of gays is normal. If it modernises, many of them will revolt, and turn to other religions like Islam or fundamentalist Protestant sects. I’m afraid it will therefore be very much an uphill struggle.

 

It's my opinion that the Catholic faith is probably not going to change it's view toward homosexuality any time soon. You might try one of the Protestant faiths. Some of them are not that different from Catholicism, while others vary more. You'll find that there are a lot of different denominations that are accepting of homosexuality, and I'm sure that you could find a church somewhere in a non-accepting denomination where the local church-goers accepted it. Do some looking around. I know that will be somewhat of a life change, but it might be worthwhile to try. Just try out some different churches. If you don't like it there, then you'll know more than you do now. Hope that helps.