Hi, My mom is the most homophobic human being I know and unfortunately, I'm not straight. Lately, she has really been talking about how stupid this new gay marriage law thing is and I think my flannel shirts are starting to set off alarms in her head. She keeps asking me about my sexuality and telling me stuff about how much God hates fags and stuff like that. Now, she's even trying to get into my computer and stuff. Every time she asks me about it, someone magically appears and saves me but I don't think that's going to last much longer. What should I do? I mean, to be completely honest, I don't really know what I am but I have been told that labels don't really matter but whatever. What should I do?
If you feel seriously threatened by the possibility of coming out to your mother, i.e. getting disowned, mistreated, etc., maybe you could give a small hint to her by replying with "well, i dont really have a problem with gays..." if she confronts you about it again. However, she seems quite militant about her views, so I would be very careful about trying to sway her opinion. Considering your age and your dependence both financially and socially on your mother, I think the safest option would be to act straight and tell her that you are straight. Regardless, it seems like a tough situation to be in but hang in there. I forgot to mention you may want to seek help from other adults who will sympathize with your problem and who are willing to support you.
Well, um, your mom is a bitch. I honestly hope I'm not offending you, but if your mother suspects that you might possibly be a lesbian or not completely straight and she is saying all these hateful things, she is consciously hurting you. If anything, she may be reacting too harshly, and may be one of those "I love my child so much I don't want God to hate her". However, if she seems to be like "Oh, honey, you better not be a dyke, cuz god hates those", you might want to hold out coming out to her, especially if she's basing her homophobia on HER beliefs rather than her interest for YOU. Is there anyone else you can talk to about your sexuality? Counselors? Teachers? Good ol' accepting, progressive Grandma? Finally, if being kicked out is a possibility, don't come out. However, you are a 13 year old girl, so I doubt that'll be a thing
Maybe I should just wait and tell her when I'm in college or something. But wait, I won't be able to go to PRIDE and all that fun stuff. She's really ruining stuff for me...is it truly possible to be in the closet but to families only? I think that would be really hard to do...
My girlfriend's mom and most of her family are extremely homophobic and her mom only found out after going through my girlfriend's things and reading her diary in which she immediately outted her to the rest of her family in a public setting. Yes my girlfriend's mom gives her hell about it but my girlfriend is at a point where she kinda just says "fuck it. get over it. I am who I am and if you don't like it too bad."
