This doesn't have much to do with LGBT, but you guys have good things to say and I need to vent. So I have a bit of an issue, and it only applies to the workplace. I work in retail. Obviously, there are disputes left and right about whatever you can think of. And it isn't fun - people are incredibly rude to retail workers. Especially if you're me, a teenage boy. It's basically a free pass for people to be mean. "Hey, since you're older than me, take a few free shots at me because I'm useless and naive." It's a clothing store I work at - the busiest in the mall. There are lots of policies with things, whether it be discounts, promotions, a returned item... And thus, lots of opportunities for someone to get bitchy with me if something doesn't work for them. It seems like everyone in today's society has this feeling of endless entitlement as a customer. It's like a feeling of invincibility, which allows them to do or say anything to a worker, with no consequences... because there never are any. (We want your business!) ...I see it all the time, and all I can do is think to myself, "Who on earth do you think you are? We're all just people here." But enough about that - here's my issue. The 'confrontations' I seemingly can't deal with can be as minor as someone being unable to return an item because they don't have the receipt. It's that simple. My worry isn't that I can't 'deal' with the problem, because I can. I know my store like the back of my hand. I know everything, and I have an answer for everything. I have a silver freakin tongue. The problem is, literally, my body's physical response. If a customer is mad at me, my heart starts beating to the point of distraction. Then, my hands will start lightly shaking, but to the point of it slowing down my keystrokes on the computer. I'm sure I turn red too, fml. Why am I doing this? I know it's adrenaline and it's my body's "fight-or-flight" response or something, but.. why? It's not like I'm going to bolt away or jump over the counter and nail the customer in the face. Why am I always freaking the fuck out? What am I scared of? Is it even fear to begin with? I know I can solve any problem that can arise, so I don't know what my problem is. Does anyone else do anything similar? Tell me I'm not the only one. Lol
I know this might sound stuck-up, but it helps me to have an attitude of "i'm better than this person" when dealing with confrontation. Dont express that feeling in your words, of course, but simply think that you are the one in control in the confrontation. If the verbal abuse gets serious, maybe you could talk to other employees or a manager about it. Maintaining eye contact helps too. Breathe, check the time, do whatever takes your mind off the stress for a second.
I could be wrong, but it sounds like you may be having panic attacks. I'd suggest looking into it, and talking to a doctor. If that is what's going on there are ways of coping that they can help you with. If it's not panic attacks, maybe they can identify it as something else and help you with that.
I can understand what you are going through I worked in retail for 5 years. Always getting nervous with verbally abusive customers. Most people try to avoid confrontation and when they are confronted they have minor panic attacks. Maybe you could talk to some of your coworkers about how they deal with unruly customers. dont know if this will help.
i've felt that way, particularly with a former boss, or any person of authority who might be mad at me (except for police officers, oddly enough hahaha). i realized i couldn't stop myself from flushing and stammering, but i wanted to stop. so i basically concluded that i'm not a child and i have no reason to feel intimidated by anybody. maybe if you use your imagination and simulate a situation where you deal with an upset customer, practice talking to them without feeling the way you normally feel. this can work if you can really get into it. this is probably something you can change about yourself, and i only say that because i did it.
I worked at different call centers (TracFone, Sprint, AT&T) for 3 years. What helped me keep my sanity was that (1) I always played by the rules, so nobody would have any reason to blame me if a customer was unhappy, and (2) there was nothing that those angry customers would be able to do to me, personally. Remember, they're mad at the company, not at you. You're just the face that the company hired to deal with those matters. As long as you resist the urge to strangle the idiot, it's not personal.
I completely understand. When I worked in a cafe, I would mess up people's orders, or something through no fault of my own would cause a delay in them getting their food. The moment a customer started to get annoyed or impatient I could start to get uncomfortable and could feel my face getting hot/red. And yes, I also find it hard to say no to people. Most people are understanding if you explain to them what's going on and why. But every now and then you just get someone who thinks they are god. I do think it's normal to be this way to some degree, unless you have a very strong personality. Are you able to call upon the manager to deal with certain trouble customers?
Another person with several years customer service (food industry though) and retail..... The problem is that you're taking it personal when it's not personal. Using the example you gave....trying to return something without the receipt. Customers can be downright nasty and abusive even though you're just at the bottom of the chain of command....especially if it's a large franchise. You just have work on remembering that it's not personal. I know it's not easy but if you're choosing to stay in any type of customer service or even management, it's definitely something you need to remember. ....my two cents.
