Hey, I'm fourteen, so I'm going through that stage of maturing and being all 'Who am I?' 'Is this what I really want?' and stuff >.< and I noticed something.. Most girls, well, people my age are interested in sex. At first I thought that maybe I was just one of those people that just didn't care about it but then I noticed the thought of it actually made me feel.. not sick, but un-pleasant? Like something it was I didn't like at all. I have known for a long time that my first time is going to be a bit hard for me because I am actually petrified of 'popping my cherry' and I thought maybe it's just that I'm so scared of that it's put me off sex all together, but I don't know. What's your opinion on this? And now for the whore-y feeling bi-sexual part.. Theres a boy I like at school, and I've liked him for almost two years, but I'm not going to say anything. You know, typical teenage crush stuff. I'm pretty sure I like him in that way, but I'm unsure becaauuseee... Well now I'm going to start another story mid-sentence. I have always had trouble making friends. I am not a nice person. I don't mean I'm a bully, I mean I look down on people, I judge them, I don't see us as equals, I don't see myself superior or anything it's just I kinda see them as play things? (Yep. Totally not superior :l) I have different personalities, like most people, but I guess you could say I take it to the extreme. Instead of being different in front of my mum than I am with my friends, I am different around everyone. I don't really trust them enough, or think of them as much as to let them know the real me. But then . . . lets call her . . . Urm . . . Konata (she cosplayed as her so that'll do >.<) Now, Konata is exactly the same as me. We met at drama classes our mums forced us into seven years ago, and were really good friends, but then we both left and stopped seeing each other apart from when our mums met up (They were friends before) Until I went to secondary school. (Konata is two years older than me so she was already there) For the first year I messed around with people in my year, saw who I could gain things from being friends with and stuff (Not a nice person, yes I know.) and then when I got bored I started going to the library, because that is something I actually do enjoy. Reading. I can escape to a place where people arn't stupid and don't lie or hurt you and don't just use you (Hypocrite ;3) But yeah, I have always felt most secure when I'm on my own reading a good book. And then I noticed Konata doing the same, so I started talking to her. At first she acted shy, but I remembered what she was like and saw straight through that act. But anyway.. after a while we both started acting naturally around each other and then I started noticing we were exactly the same. Like exactly the same. We liked the same books, programs, art, music, people, clothes, colours, food, everything. We both acted different around other people, we both hated everyone, we were both somewhat sadistic (I know it's probably not the right word, but I mean like we get pleasure (non-sexual) from causing pain for others, so yeah sadistic I guess(or just horrible people)) and so we got on really, really well. And then I started noticing how pretty she was, and started wanting to hug her and stuff all the time, the same way I felt about the boy, and thought it was just that I liked her as a best friend, you know how girls are always hugging each other and saying things like 'OMG UR SO PRITTY <33' and stuff. And then when we were getting changed for an expo she was facing away from me whilst taking her shirt off and I just wanted to hug her. Since then I've been thinking about my feelings and I noticed they were the same as I felt about the boy. At first I thought I considered that I may be a lesbian (The average thoughts of a teenage girl O.O) and that's why I didn't like the thought of sex with men, but the thought of sex with women is just as bad and now I just don't know! If you have any opinions on this then please, feel free to tell me! I just don't know, I'm so confused. What if I decide I like her in that way and tell her? There's a 00.01% chance she would say yes. If she did reject me, she wouldn't stop being friends with me, she would just brush it off but I don't know if I could handle that. And then I would feel guilty to the boy. SO I LIKE TWO PEOPLE, ONE MALE, ONE FEMALE, ONE IS ALSO MY BESTFRIEND. WAT DO? I think I have asked this in the most awkward way ever T.T I'm sorry I'm just typing as the thoughts come to me :S
well, since you generally don't care abt others and like to inflict pain,are these two exempt? unless you going steady why not tell both you just want to date casually not serious yet? so date both! not same time! 2 separate days. do u think u must fuck? why? can't you say no? any reason you can't keep virginity, you know that aint a cherry right?
As an asexual myself I am pretty convinced you are a biromantic asexual. I also believe that you are an INTJ too based on how you prefer solitude and judge. I definitely suggest you take the Myer-Briggs personality test as it helped me understand who I am and why I was so different.
You definitely sound bisexual to me, though I leave it to others to say if your asexual. By the way, having feelings for two people at once doesn't make you a whore. Some people just wind up falling for more than once person. I've known people throughout my life who were like that, and who even had relationships with two people at the same time. It can work if everyone knows what's going on, although some people would give you a hard time about it, and it can also get complicated. (Example: I had one friend who was asked to the prom by one boyfriend and she said yes, but then was freaking out about what to do if her other boyfriend asked her. Poor single me, I'm afraid I just laughed in her face.) Just wanted to mention that. Good luck, whatever you decide to do about your feelings.
Thanks guys, your opinions have really helped ^.^ I took the test and it said I'm INTJ, which explains a few things and kinda makes me happy knowing I'm not the only one and to be honest make's me feel a little less guilty in some ways? >.< I have looked into biromantic asexualty and have decided that it describes me and the way I feel pretty well, and I think that it is my sexuality. I am going to try talk to Konata about it tomorrow, but not tell her my feelings yet as I don't want to rush things and I want to see how she reacts first. I am also happy that other people like more than one person because it is reassuring and gives me confidence? If that makes sense? Thanks again guys you've been a lot of help =^.^= And this post went better than I thought it would as this is my first day here and I wasn't sure how to go about things >.<
