HELP !! advice on helping my 14yr old nephew with who he is and how to act

I have a nephew that is well lets just say we have known for awhile now that he may be gay. Well he came out to me and i have been helping him with his parents and other family members not so open to his new admission. Well on his birthday he says to my sister ..Aunt Sandie can i tell you something she told him anything babe, He said did aunt Robin (me ) tell you that I am gay, she said to him no she did not but you are not telling me something that I did not already know. It makes no difference to me if you are gay or straight, black or white. I love you the same now as yesterday. He said ok and they left it at that she did not want to push the subject. Later that night she talked to me and i told her that he has been telling everyone and expecting the worse reaction. Well lets skip ahead a month and when my sister sees him next he tells her aunt sandie there is a boy at this party that I like and I want to ask him out. her first response was gonna be your 14 you dont need a boyfriend the same response she would have givin one of her sons. she stopped and yes she was guilty of telling him what she thought he wanted to hear. she said well thats nice and she will have to meet him later. Skip ahead a few more days and my sister tells me that he said that to her and i tell her he has been acting very inappropriate with other kids. I think this is more to do with his lack of understanding about what is expected of him as a young man and less to do with what is expected out of him as a gay young man. I think to myself do I have to seperate the two or treat him as I would any other young man who would act this way. I have this conversation with my sister and we both said we should never treat him different just because he is gay but make sure he knows that this behavior is not right for a young man. My questions is this to anyone? Should his parents( who by the way are not concerned with this whole thing that are hoping its just a phase he is going thru and will snap out of it and start likeing girls) get him a life couch or someone to talk to about his coming out, my thoughts are he needs someone to help him muddle his way thru being a teenager gay or straight. your thoughts?.. i am trying my best to help him with this i love this boy like he is my own i am just a loss.. so i am reaching out for any advice i can get on how to get him to realize being gay is not who you are but what u do in your bed room.. he is acting very wrong with other young men who are not gay.. i am so at a loss that im affraid for his safety because right now i have him in this safe little bubble but i cant be around him at all times and am scared that he will run across someone that will not just turn him down politely buy will hit first and ask questions later.. so any help would be great ...:help:

 

as far as the bad behavior well he gets online and i know he is trying to figure this whole thing out but lets just say this is anormal covo for him..... hi my name is kurt im gay.. are you gay? if they say yes then he procedds to want to talk about sex and then after about five min he asks if they want to have sex with him.. !! i try to explain to him that in any event gay or stright i will whip his ever loving ass if he does that again.. lol.. but i think he thinks that thats how gay people act.. i dont know how to get thru to him that it isnt how a human being acts ya know

---------- Post added 30th Dec 2012 at 07:35 PM ----------

no not because he wanted to ask another 14 yr old out but after the kid told him he wasnt gay that he kept doing it and making the other boy feel strange.. like telling him are u sure u dont wanna try it or are u sure u dont wanna have sex and he only knew the boy 1 hr..

 

no not that he asked the kid out .. but after the kid said he wasnt gay he kept on him about it and kept asking him are u sure u dont want to try it and stuff like that he made the other kid feel very uncomfortable to the point the kid asked his parents if it was ok if he left the party.. i just dont know how to get thru to him that this isnt ok no mater if he is stright or gay .. any advice? i feel like im banging my head against a wall :bang:

---------- Post added 30th Dec 2012 at 08:11 PM ----------

thank you so much i think i am going to do that thanks again

 

your not telling me something i havent already thought of.. honestly i think he needs a strong gay male mentor to help him thru this to tell him that how he is acting is wrong because he thinks his stright aunt dosnt know how a gay man should act!! i tried to tell him it dosnt matter if your gay or stright you dont act like a perv.. he just laighs and shakes his head..

 

yeah i think u are right im going to show him this tomorrow.. thanks guys